aesha_kallattuvalapil

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aesha kallattuvalapil IG : @aesha_kallattuvalapil google+ : Aesha K P Twitter : @kpaesha

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  • aesha_kallattuvalapil 1w

    Shades Doesn't Matter

    Why does my thoughts contradict the
    obvious facts instilled within the societal norms?
    Cause every time I gawk at my reflection,
    The mirror stays still unwary of the fat layers,
    My body, soul exposed to the never in need sagacity,
    I stand bare, unclothed and raw,
    Not shamed to glow amidst the scars,
    Not in pain to clutch the beautified self,
    Not worried to exhibit the flawed skin.

    You maybe the bully,
    But there is a assailant disguised within,
    Eager to spurt an enticing hell,
    Perhaps, my belief of self-worth was at guilty,
    Pleading a punish to be inscribed,
    For it will awake my senses of appearance.

    Not anymore,
    The shades of vividness on me will never be peeled off,
    The color of being anything that’s me will be celebrated,
    Cause the shades of my soul reigns the human within!

    ©aesha

  • aesha_kallattuvalapil 2w

    /// prayer ///

    Let your destination unwrap
    the divinity you pray for,
    Cause prayer is
    my medication,
    to cure,
    to heal,
    to preserve,
    from the wicked,
    Cause I intonate
    to breathe,
    to render,
    to bestow,
    to spread,
    the belief in self-worth,
    Let those damaged
    emotions out,
    to wander,
    to ramble,
    to wreck,
    Cause I worship the soul
    embedded in my body,
    I’m here to bosom
    the need sprouting
    deep inside me,
    I’m here to uplift
    the desires ignored,
    I’m here to elate,
    to rise,
    to blossom,
    with prayers stringed
    to untwine the knots of past.


    ©aesha_kallattuvalapil

  • aesha_kallattuvalapil 2w

    Can we go away, far away from this land of despair? Discover an island of love, to dive deep in your warmth, my hand in your hand, the adrenaline high, our steps matching, a song of deity playing along, our feet twirling in the rhythm of heartbeats, an ocean full of hopes reflecting, a land covered in shiny sand, promising eternal bond, aura of tea spread out, welcoming days of forever in togetherness! Can we start this adventure and never come back? Can we not expose our soul talks to this world? Can we stay locked in the safety of the home we’ll build? Can we? Can our love be so rare that we could keep it latched? Cause I will keep us secure, away from others and be yours!


    ©aesha_kallattuvalapil

  • aesha_kallattuvalapil 2w

    I woke up one day unaware of a bad omen,
    He soon threw me into the days of abandon,
    My chastity intact yet his innocence disturbed,
    He looked upset and my feelings disarranged,
    We grew up together as toxins of demented.
    Imprints of his palm concaved in my skin,
    Polka dots of cigarettes designed on me,
    Stains of blood dried,
    Cries of pain muffled,
    His wrath intoxicated my soul,
    Followed by the smell of atrocious events,
    Separation was inevitable.
    My story bolted within,
    The pain so strong,
    The walls surrounded were my acquaintances,
    Listening to my cries and his yowl,
    They stood unmoved,
    Never leaving me alone.
    With each passing day,
    My skin pale and my eyes red,
    The red wounds changed into dark scars,
    Yet my love for him never wavered,
    Those were his little punishments,
    For I was always wrong.
    Committed towards mistake,
    No tears mattered,
    Cause he would kiss my wounds soon,
    Cause he would caress my skin soon,
    Cause he would wrap me under him,
    For me they were actions of love.

    Read More

    /// Toxins of Demented ///

    I woke up one day unaware of a bad omen,
    He soon threw me into the days of abandon,
    My chastity intact yet his innocence disturbed,
    He looked upset and my feelings disarranged,
    We grew up together as toxins of demented.
    Imprints of his palm concaved in my skin,
    Polka dots of cigarettes designed on me,
    Stains of blood dried,
    Cries of pain muffled,
    His wrath intoxicated my soul,
    Followed by the smell of atrocious events,
    Separation was inevitable.
    My story bolted within,
    The pain so strong,
    The walls surrounded were my acquaintances,
    Listening to my cries and his yowl,
    They stood unmoved,
    Never leaving me alone.
    With each passing day,
    My skin pale and my eyes red,
    The red wounds changed into dark scars,
    Yet my love for him never wavered,
    Those were his little punishments,
    For I was always wrong.
    Committed towards mistake,
    No tears mattered,
    Cause he would kiss my wounds soon,
    Cause he would caress my skin soon,
    Cause he would wrap me under him,
    For me they were actions of love.


    ©aesha_kallattuvalapil

  • aesha_kallattuvalapil 2w

    Not a laugh or cry was let out,
    Holding strong on to the past,
    To efface the experiences offered was tough,
    Though she knew the reality unfolding,
    Worried of being not enough was strong,
    Fear of being vulnerable made it harder,
    Tremor of flaws took over.

    I wish someday she could acknowledge my love,
    The way I perceive her words,
    The way I embrace her actions,
    Or maybe she should magnify her flaws to see freckles of rarity glowing,
    Rather than scraping her scars to wake up extinct pain.

    I see worry of deep rooted insecurities flickering,
    Some sleepless nights drew darkish illness under her curious eyes,
    The cuts in her hands enhanced as a jewelry worn,
    Brilliance exceeded in tally,
    As she counted the pills for her to slip into unconsciousness,
    Or as she counted number of floors in a building to sum up the height,
    Or as she enquired the cost of toxicant.

    I will be a shadow who she can talk to,
    Also a savior to catch her from every falls,
    Not because I follow the unworthiness she claims to be,
    But I am unified with her soul glistening of a spark untouched,
    And I realize that she is embattled,
    Her fight was against strong rooted past beliefs.

    Read More

    Embattled

    Not a laugh or cry was let out,
    Holding strong on to the past,
    To efface the experiences offered was tough,
    Though she knew the reality unfolding,
    Worried of being not enough was strong,
    Fear of being vulnerable made it harder,
    Tremor of flaws took over.

    I wish someday she could acknowledge my love,
    The way I perceive her words,
    The way I embrace her actions,
    Or maybe she should magnify her flaws to see freckles of rarity glowing,
    Rather than scraping her scars to wake up extinct pain.

    I see worry of deep rooted insecurities flickering,
    Some sleepless nights drew darkish illness under her curious eyes,
    The cuts in her hands enhanced as a jewelry worn,
    Brilliance exceeded in tally,
    As she counted the pills for her to slip into unconsciousness,
    Or as she counted number of floors in a building to sum up the height,
    Or as she enquired the cost of toxicant.

    I will be a shadow who she can talk to,
    Also a savior to catch her from every falls,
    Not because I follow the unworthiness she claims to be,
    But I am unified with her soul glistening of a spark untouched,
    And I realize that she is embattled,
    Her fight was against strong rooted past beliefs.


    ©aesha_kallattuvalapil

  • aesha_kallattuvalapil 4w

    #writersnetwork #readwriteunite


    PS: Happy International Men's Day! .


    PSS: It's a vast topic sometimes left untouched and not much spoken about. Please give your valuable feedbacks and comment your opinions too!

    Read More

    Some men inborn with cruel instincts cultivate art of treachery to entrap the innocent, vulnerable, tenuous and tender souls. Some men are raised, intoxicated and matured with the thoughts of sadistic desires to hide unguarded, unprotected or insecurity they retain. .

    Many other men cherish our raw emotions, protect our sprouting ideas, guard us with their strength, sacrifice their dreams for we can climb ladders of equity untouched. Many men keep us safe never a word of complaint uttered. .

    We(I) blame and say “men these days carry inhumane attitude, cruel ambitions, yada yada yada….”, putting them all into one category for few men’s wrong! . I wish the unheeded ones due to their gender could find raw, fresh and deep voice of emotions. I wish their emotional expressions could find exemption. I wish they wouldn’t be criticized because of wrong ones. I wish them days of appreciation for their selfless actions. .

    I apologize. We apologize. (For all the wrong perception we cast) .

    Aesha Kallattuvalapil || ©aesha

  • aesha_kallattuvalapil 4w

    DEEP RED IN PAIN

    She stood awed by the glory of the celebration, her 18th birthday surprise swam towards her crowding all her little consciousness into a mush of nullity. All happy faces, filled with giggles and shouts of children, conversations of fineness and gossips, people rushing into the party venue to give her blessings along with glitter covered papers neatly folded over gifts in their hands enhanced the grandeur of the day.
    The biggest gift was still waiting for its right time to bestow tricks and treats of life, to make her believe in monsters once she heard in fairly tales. But those monsters were always killed, the King/Prince always made sure that the evil took path of graveyard. Do you believe in monsters?
    They live among us, disguised as promoters of angelic goodness. They’ll wait for you to fall into their traps, a net of treachery will be spread out while a path of evilness will be paved.
    She was going to be theirs sooner or later, not acknowledging the obvious she dreamt a life of bliss.
    “18 year old student kidnaped, brutally raped and thrown away in the streets of forest. Deep red in pain, she was seen by the tribal community living nearby” highlighted the newspapers upcoming days.

    ©aesha || Aesha Kallattuvalapil

  • aesha_kallattuvalapil 7w

    Fear. Grips my throat constricting my breath. Sparks a hurricane within my body. An unknown ache spreads all over my body. I wonder what do I fear about? What am I afraid of?
    Being forgotten. Being not important. Being a stranger again. Being nothing but a saved yet not used contact, nothing but a social media presence, nothing but a mere inconvenient clingy lone person. Insecurities are my fear. The thought of repetitive past is what I fear.
    My biggest fear is losing you. I condemn it to be a failure. So beautiful it was when we existed. And then I could feel you slip through my delicate hold. My hold was soft, keeping you free from restraints. But now, you are free from me. And then I saw you walking back from me, far away you stood in pain. Pain of despair was mutual. Too stubborn to let go past, we stood in tears.

    ©aesha || Aesha Kallattuvalapil

  • aesha_kallattuvalapil 7w

    I wanted our love to flourish and blossom In those unburnt ashes of mysterious yet untold flicker of adoration. Just being with you had my sense of aliveness heightened. I strongly believed in our togetherness and enchanting journey we shared. My soul so wanted to be yours, infinity and forever swirled through my mind every time your thoughts rushed in. Would it sound cliché to say that you were the only thought welcomed? I lived through your heartbeats. I heard through your laughs. I smiled through your ramblings. I cried through your worries. I wanted to embrace your insecurities teaching you to see the beauty of flaws and scars engraved in your perspective. I wanted to see your dreams and feel you living through them. I wanted to listen that stories you had locked away from others. I wanted to explore each inch of you savoring that streak of color you hid well from this Universe. I dreamt, lived and breathed you. And now you are gone. Disappeared into fog of nothingness that others built with anger and jealous. Left me to suffer in the heartbreak and despair. Agitated I live my life, afraid to end it but no more hope left to live!

    ©aesha || Aesha Kallattuvalapil

  • aesha_kallattuvalapil 9w

    Beloved former noxious person,

    Each and every time you took a step closer to me, the hidden poison clinged by the side of my joyous life. Handling my emotions as they were your toys to choke them for juicy cries of pain, you found coward ways to gratify the sadistic need.

    I was an uncut and edgy jewel desiring for burn of higher spiritual. I knew I was worth anything that was under the sky spread over reflecting the ocean full of heavenly love. That ray of hope I cherished was cut. That smile I owned was fading away. That strength of me was crawling back to the dark gray soul. And I was left in the dark alley of fissures and scissures along with several painfully intoxicating wounds of pessimistic tremor.

    You did manage to shape my life into pathetic drama of cries and pain. An unknown darkness crept over me. Slowly. Pathetically slow. But it did manage to drain all my giggles and laughter. It drained my energy to breathe. I am all alone left to soak up in the negativity you dropped me in.

    ©aesha || Aesha Kallattuvalapil