My version of ||ChAngE||
Have you ever missed yourself? Like not anybody else but ‘You'?
Have you ever felt that you changed so much that now, maybe you miss the ‘old’ you?
You thought the ‘old’ you was much better, much more ‘people-friendly’, 'world-friendly' than you are now.
Have you missed yourself to the point where it started to pain, so much to know that maybe, nothing will ever be the same anymore...
You heard a gazillion times that ‘people change, everyone does and so will you one day’, but did you ever really expected it? In reality? Right in your face and that too when you’re least expecting it?
But who knew that, when your ‘one day reality’ comes, the pain would be so innumerable, so much shocking, to see The famous "Change" right in you.
There's this phrase called “too good to be true” , but do you know of a rare one known as “too bad to be true”?? It’s where you ask yourself, questions such as “I can’t be this bad, right?”, “I mean, how can I change this bad?” You don't believe it. You don't believe in the very realistic possibility of you changing into someone whom you don't recognize at all, however one thing you're sure of, and that it’s not a good one.. The change, I mean. Your series of “why’s”, “how’s” and “when’s” are endless… but there it is, the reality of it all, knocking at your door, and you just ran out of options..
But then you have the other option too. The path of delusion, as science calls it. Where you convince yourself that it’s the others and not you. You convince yourself so much that they are the ones who changed. You try to keep yourself in your so-called delusions, keep yourself ‘safe’ in your little bubble. But even that bubble breaks someday, and when it does, you fall and you fall hard..
Then you go around thinking, thinking that maybe it wouldn’t have pained this much if you had accepted the reality then, reality that it was you all along. 'It wasn't them! It was YOU!', you hear your mind saying.There you go. Your yet another journey starts. The endless series of self-defamation, depressions, sleepless nights etc. etc.Your self-made ‘introvert’ mode is on, you build a wall so high around you and yet at the end of it all, you gain nothing!! Absolutely nothing but that invisible hole in your heart which no one else sees but you, remains forever.
You see, Change is necessary..Change is inevitable, and which many of us miserably fail in accepting. Well, it’s a trait of being human anyways. Maybe that is why everything becomes complicated, 'Life' becomes complicated. Change,whether good or bad is something we need to determine ourselves and work on.
If it’s good, you become a blessing to yourself and to others. If it’s bad, you become a lesson, which too after crossing endless rivers of struggles and pain, turns into a blessing. So the bottom line is-
“There is always good in good and good in bad too”, it all depends on how we take it and transform it
‘How good is good’ and ‘how bad is bad’ is something which we humans could maybe never comprehend, but God did. The only one who never saw bad in us, and gave us grace unending. And maybe that is why HE is called the Almighty and our Father.
Now what is in our hands is to just keep going and have faith in Him. Trust in Him that He’ll never let you go the wrong way. Believe in Him to give you the gift of faith, the gift which is never earned but is received endlessly.
You must be thinking, "Now she's preaching!", but trust me, I'm not. It's a universal fact, a fact so no one could argue on it, but the ones who wants to badly, but cannot, choose to ignore it. But truth remains the truth even when you don't want to accept it. The truth is, God is the ultimate answer to everything, the answer to all the questions in your life. You just got to bring it to Him. Even the greatest atheist (people who claim God doesn't exist) have eventually accepted this.
This whole dilemma, about ‘Change’is the most relevant topic I hear from people every day and questioned about too. So, the lecture you’ve been reading for the Two and a half minutes is basically my answer to all the questions, to all those people struggling with their versions of change, me and maybe even you.
Someone once told me “You will never know that God is all you need until God is all you have” and nowhere could I disagree on it, till today. So I think it’s time, time to let God become the one for us, the only one we have and the only one we need. Time to let Him decide your and my version of Change, to turn it into something much more profound than you ever imagined. Maybe it’s time.
__something that took me long enough to understand