#amateur

276 posts
  • psycho_engineer 6h

    A stab at realism

    When constructing an image of what you wanna be, it is easy to fall in the trap of sole fixation at the type of god you could become. Be honest with yourself. No one can become a fucking god.
    ©psycho_engineer

  • psycho_engineer 9h

    On Improvement

    It should be noted that when looking from the outside in, that we ourselves get a fire in our bellys when path is sparked from a moment of tragedy rather than triumph. Being so sure that it is bad luck that makes you want to fight the natural order. That we should, and ought, resist ill fortune.
    This way of thinking about improvement is poisonous.
    ©psycho_engineer

  • psycho_engineer 1d

    On Improvement (again)

    Sooner or later you just have to accept that most excuses are self made. Funny thing, though, is that people still stand by them to not do what they need to do to move forward. And that, that is a special kind of hell. Made completely by the victim.
    ©psycho_engineer

  • psycho_engineer 2d

    On Improvement (another excerpt)

    On the road of self-discovery, self-recovery, and such, many things are (or at least should be) taken under scrutiny. One particularly muddy field is that of the social dynamic. It is a difficult field for that it is so easy to label a social group as the sole problem(as to shift blame) but troublesome to change once it is realize that it is part of the problem.
    ©psycho_engineer

  • misssydo 2d

    True Love

    ©misssydo
    I want you
    Every nerve
    Every fiber of my being
    I would cut myself
    I will hide away
    I will come after you
    Everytime.
    Why do you cry?
    Why are you pushing back?
    My heart stops
    For you
    I will die
    If you don't stay
    Don't you want me?

  • cathyb 3d

    Free

    ‘The further I get, the easier it’ll be’

    That was the only thought swimming inside my head as I ran.

    Nobody shouted after me, they had barely even stopped the festivities as the door slammed shut behind me.

    The only thing keeping me company as I ran down the pathway was the soft glow from above that embraced me  as I passed.

    ‘They didn’t care’

    I knew it was a bad idea.

    I knew the second I thought about it that it wouldn’t turn out the way I wanted.

    I thought my mother would at least sympathise with me.

    God I was a fool.

    Their faces were engraved into my mind.

    The slight crease of my father’s brow as he looked at me.

    The perfect circle my mother’s mouth made as she quickly covered it with her hands.

    The slight smirk on my brothers face as he watched our family slowly fall apart.

    It was a disaster to say the least, the warm laughter that filled the house quickly faded as I became the centre of attention.

    “How dare you”

    Were the only words that left my father’s mouth as his eyes bore into my own.

    “I paid your tuition fees just for you to decide halfway you didn’t want this anymore?”

    “I never wanted this, you did”

    I fell to my knees.

    The Ice crunched from the impact as I gathered myself into a corner against the wall of the convenience store.

    I didn’t want this, you did.

    My eyelids closed softly, the tears that stained my cheeks dropped onto my dress as I sat in the cold.

    “Get out of my house”

    My hands trembled as I undid latch on the door.

    I knew it would be the last time I would be welcome in that household.

    I left Harvard half way through the doctoral program.

    I had started seeing a counsellor during my first year on campus.

    “Why are you here?”

    My hands twitched slightly as I fiddled with the hem of my jumper.

    “I don’t know”

    “I think you do”

    The first session was tough. I sat on the couch, my lips shut tightly almost like those of a clamp.

    I was scared, terrified in fact.

    “You don’t want to be here?”

    “No, I don’t”

    It took six sessions for me to admit it out loud.

    “You realise how many people would give an arm and a leg to go here?”

    My eyes widened as I looked to the lady in front of me.

    Her hair was tied up neatly in a bun at the back of her head, glasses loosely draped upon the crook of her nose as she looked at me.

    Patiently waiting for an answer that I wasn’t willing to give.

    But it wasn’t that I wasn’t willing, I realised in later sessions.

    It was that I was afraid.

    I don’t know when I decided to stop playing the role of the perfectly composed rich girl.

    But one day I just stopped.

    “I don’t want to be here. I’m sick and tired of everything, of everyone”

    For the first time the tears that slipped down my face were not those of sadness but those of relief.

    “I came here because that’s what my family wanted. My father, my mother”

    I took a deep breath, closing my eyes as I continued to talk.

    “They want me to be a doctor, I don’t. I spent hours upon hours pent up in my room because I was so afraid of letting everybody down and by doing that the only person I’ve let down is myself”

    That was the first time my councillor ever gave me genuine advice.

    “The only way you’ll ever be happy is to undo the clamp your parents have given you. Birds fly because they are taught how, not by jumping out of the nest in hopes they’ll soar”

    The Ice slowly started to take affect as I realised just how cold I was.

    I sat up slowly using the wall as a guideline as I pushed myself up.

    It didn’t matter where I was going.
    It didn’t matter how I was going to get to where I needed to be.

    But for the first time ever in my life I was finally free and even though my wings were coated in bright white snow they were also bathed in the glorious light of the streetlamps that lit the way

    ©cathyb

  • introvert_talks 3d

    Longing for love

    I have been longing
    Don't know why
    But been longing for long
    For the feel of touch
    For the the taste of a kiss
    For the feel of love

    I have been living
    Or Don't know
    If been dying for long
    For to drown in sparkling eyes
    For to be lost in words of love
    For to feel the warmth of loving arms

    I have been thinking for long
    Don't know why
    But If been longing for too much
    To long for love
    For we are born with a heart
    For we are born with a soul
    For we are born to love

    I have been longing for long

    ©introvert_talks

  • psycho_engineer 4d

    How easy. That such soft comments. Born from the need to compose witty repartee penetrate so hard, so quick.
    It is from this that banter is created. A field where friendly verbal shots are fired.
    All because someone let their ego and insecurities get the better of them and wanted to act like hot shit.
    ©psycho_engineer

  • psycho_engineer 4d

    On Improvement (an excerpt)

    What is seldom acknowledged (I think) is that on the road to self improvement, there is a haunting feeling of anxiety. This type of anxiety is fed by the realization that while you do know what you don't want to be, you don't exactly know what you want to become.

  • sophielzou 4d

    People learning from peace is rarer than a desert turning green
    ©sophielzou

  • saviojons 1w

    We seem to have a lot of Non Sense...
    Don't you feel it's time for some Human Sense
    What is wrong with this world....
    #amateur #poet #saviojons #india #poem

    Read More

    Human Sense

    Everything's wrong with this world,
    Except you and me;
    It's upto us to change its destiny,
    When I respect you ,
    And you respect me,
    There's hope for humanity.
    ©saviojons

  • sophielzou 5d

    You're the best teacher

    You taught me how to love myself
    I never loved who I was
    until you loved me....
    Now every single piece of me
    loves all of you...
    ©sophielzou

  • vampvipul 1w

    You vs you

    After your tyranny over my heart , I'm glad I found a favour
    You left some work, so she's gonna fill those paper
    Will she or not ? I keep asking this question
    My inhibitions , anxiety and blaze is she gonna take on ?
    She's the new you , or just one of your resemblence
    Who came to wipe my knife which I kept after your war
    There's a hope in her fear and beauty in her voice
    Which tells me she's gonna stay like I told you in that noise .
    I won't let her close I won't let her hear
    All the demons that scream inside , and the mask I wear
    I won't let someone get burnt in the fire like I did
    I won't make a castle and burn like I did
    I'll cut through the path for you and make it narrow
    So you can drive away and leave my life hollow
    My promises will live forever my love will not get faded
    Because I know how love works not like you understated
    So just leave this lesson here and bring this new rage
    I'll mould her like you and will write the next page .

    ©vampvipul

  • sophielzou 1w

    The things I wish to say to you
    when we grow old and weak

    From the starting of the book of our life,
    Since the day I met you,
    To now when no page is left unturned,
    Life has changed as the pages did.
    We faced highs and lows, ups and downs,
    Throughout what hasn't changed
    Is you and me.
    ©sophielzou

  • sophielzou 1w

    Friendship called love

    I found shelter in you,
    and peace in your presence.
    You found me broken hearted,
    and fixed me with love.
    You took me out of my misery,
    and gave me a new life.
    You stood by my side,
    and gave me company.
    You're my boat in life's ocean,
    and my hope in the darkest hour.
    You laid a foundation of love,
    and held me like a corner stone.
    You aided me with a friendship,
    A friendship called love.
    ©sophielzou

  • sophielzou 1w

    Everything around you

    I want to be everything around you
    From the sound you hear
    To the air you breathe
    I want to be everywhere
    I want to capture every moment
    of your life in my eyes
    I want to smile with you 
    through every darkness 
    I want to look at you 
    with an old wrinkled face
    And whisper with a weak weary voice 
    Looking through those shiny twinkle in your eyes 
    And say, "My love for you is still young".
    ©sophielzou

  • alonelysoul 1w

    Wanted

    She never liked how she looked
    Too chubby, too round
    He surprised her with his desire,
    The lust in his eyes
    She knew better, she resisted
    But his charm was hard to ignore
    He maybe just like the rest
    But for the first time in her life,
    It felt so good to be Wanted

    ©alonelysoul

  • irrationally_yours 1w

    Ting!

    I wish
    We had
    Background music
    In real life
    Atleast my
    So called life
    Would be a
    Little interesting

    ©irrationally_yours

  • irrationally_yours 1w

    ख़ामोशी

    अंजान थे वो भी हमारे अल्फ़ाज़ों से

    कुछ उन्होंने नहीं कहा, कुछ हम बोल ना पाए।

    ©irrationally_yours

  • saviojons 2w

    Wake up...

    Can we all please wake up,
    From our own narratives,
    And perspectives of our history,
    To the reality of our today;
    And present ourselves,
    As a nation,
    Always together;
    As a community,
    Complete in diversity;
    As a person,
    Respecting every opinion;
    As a human,
    Of India;
    ©saviojons