(Why can't you go back to your previous self? Before you met her!)
I was as normal as it gets,
Then along she came, lifted me up; Blessed!
I, then fell from that height; Cheated!
Broken bones and wounds; I bled,
Not from my body but my soul; I kept-
Thinking "WHY ME?"of all the souls I met.
Alive but feeling like I'm dead.
Trembling bones, I try to get back on my feet
To forget how you looked lying under me,
To forget how you quivered, when I touched.
Trying to be whole; A new soul.
Then I healed slowly and almost,
Until I saw you again,
Not in a street or an event.
I watched you, lying under a different man.
My heart filled with rage,
Pumping hate through my veins
Asking myself obvious questions,
Of how your video surfaced on the internet.
Wounds tore open,
My bones could scream,
I lost myself to insanity.
Your moans echoed in my brain-
Like someone clawing through my chest,
To pull my pounding heart out; and then
Show me how 200 BPM sounds.
I wanted to beat you,
For this torture I felt.
Messages unreplied, phone number changed,
I was to hunt you out and make you pay.
All that rage turned to despair,
When I found out you sealed your fate,
Killed yourself, a blade to your veins.
More questions crept,
"Would she be alive, if I... ?"