What I don't want to be..
I was never really sure what I wanted to be. But I sure as hell did not want to be a parent. Atleast, not the kind I got. Although financially supportive, emotionally distant!
I've had a lot of people I've called friends. But at the end of the day, when I want to share something with someone, I don't have someone close enough that I can open up to them. I don't know what I do wrong, but I sure as hell do not want to treat anybody the way I got treated all these years- called when in distress!
I have been in love. Not just once. But I know I never want to be like any of my exes- jealous, unsympathetic and the kind who can't be relied upon!
I have never been clingy to anyone in my entire life. Maybe I was..when I was a kid or something. But I cannot remember what that felt like. You see, when you are pushed so further away, you learn to become emotionally independent. You do not find the need for a confidant anymore. You know you can handle your own shit no matter what happens.
Lastly, I never want to be like the society around me- judgemental and unsupportive! When I have reached a point where I know that no matter what I do people will get disappointed, I also know that it will not be considered normal if I don't disappoint them!
So fuck them! I am in charge now. It is my life and I will live it on my terms. Alone, content and happy, because I will do exactly what I want. My life is for me and no one else. I will take the responsibility for whatever goes right or wrong because of my decisions. Whatever it turns out to be, I will be happy. IT IS MINE!