Here is a story that has been said before,
Life had nothing new to offer anymore.
Blake thought this was it! This is how he will pass on,
Leaving behind a trail of cocaine, stolen cards and soiled tampons.
The one last snuff, it made him so sad,
He needed to stay alive for this shit, so bad.
And then it happened, there was too much light,
His eyes shut and the world was plunged in white.
He woke up in Jesus’ lap as His lamb,
He let out a bleat just to confirm he was no longer a man.
“My Child” said the soothing heavenly voice,
“You’ve lived your life like a soul sucking lice.”
Then God’s Son worked His way pretty quick,
As He de-ticked the fleece that was so thick.
“One last chance” He promptly announced,
“Back on earth and watch, else you’ll wear my crown.”
Blake rolled over and pinched his nipples hard,
Obviously there was no holy vision of a man with a staff.
He undid his zip and horror struck,
For his member was now snow white dangling fluff!
“Wake up and shake off this trip” pleaded Blake,
“C’mmon man! I’m only 18! It’s not that late”
Exhausted, Blake huffed and steadied himself against the wall,
For now he was 81 and looked small in the Vatican hall.
He watched in terror as they approached with a crown,
He adjusted the fluff and began the countdown.
The hooded figures muttered till the world seem to drown,
The moment it was placed, a purifying light ran deep down.
“For fucking sake, Blake…” The angel sounded a lot like his aunt,
“Stop shoving your head against the cactus, it’s a new plant!”
“And why are you out in the lawn with nothing but the woolly blanket on?”
Suddenly the clouds parted and the noon light shone on.
Ashamed, he dragged himself into the shower,
Disgusted at the loss of his own will power.
It was then he felt a stub of fluff at the base of his spine,
This time, the lamb knew it was warning up his ass, hallelujah divine!