My Husband's Girlfriend
I've been with my husband for almost 5 years, our 3 year wedding anniversary is in september but we'll be celebrating 5 years of being together on September 17th. Most people go through the whole "let's share everything" stage, it's usually the epitome of a relationship because the first 10 minutes you try and go through their entire life story and memorize their likes and dislikes. You know, the usual.
You see when I met my husband, we were like two peas in a pod, we did everything together, shared all of our secrets and really had a good thing going. But then our honeymoon stage just abruptly ended when he invited this entity to live with us. At first I was cool with it, i agreed with this decision and at the time it was really exciting to have something new in our lives. We'd spend our evenings with a pizza and hang out with it together, then suddenly it was the main attraction. Now I'm not trying to complain but I hate being the 3rd wheel, i just think it's rude, especially when the newcomer became involved in anything we ever did.
So babe, what would u like to do tonight? Let's ask our new friend, maybe it has some ideas of what we could do.. wait.. didn't u just ask me? Why do we have to ask it what we should do, i exist you know.
Now, we just had our 2nd daughter back in November, which made us parents of two little girls under the age of 3, i know ive probably lost my way a bit with my looks, usually I don't care what I look like. Mainly because I wear baby puke more than perfume and i get my hair ripped out of my skull by tiny fingers and my hands have become chew toys. But hey its motherhood. I graduated from my skinny jeans to sweat pants, pushup bra to a sports bra, i throw up my hair in a messy bun and ghetto wrap it with a headband, I get it... I've gone ratchet.
With my new found glory, i started noticing that he would spend more time with his new friend than he would with me, any time I'd look over he'd be talking with it, acting all buddy buddy. My god just buy it roses and take it on a damn date already... then things just got wierd, i started competing with it. I'd run into the bathroom, grab a shower, do my hair, my makeup and then walk out of the room and hope he'd notice me for a spit second. Which on some occasions he would and I'd get that exciting feeling like a kid at hogwarts who learned how to successfully master the petrolis charm. But then itd be over within a record breaking 4 seconds because his new friend would get butthurt and start squacking and shit, then he'd be right back on the couch, stroking it's controls ever so gently, saying shhhh im here or talking to it like they hadn't seen eachother in years. For real? And i can hear his friend snickering at me. Like he hehe hehe I'm better than you.
I seriously never thought I'd be putting on lipstick to one up my husband's xbox. I guess my new mom bod doesn't outshine it's shiny exterior, it can run for hours on one hardrive and if he asks it to anything, it worships his every command. I named it lala.. Cause that's what my husband hears when i talk to him while he spends time with her...
Needless to say my husband's new girlfriend will eventually die out. Till then I'll be wiping off caked on makeup and brushing the curls out my hair.
Shit.... i spoke too soon, we now have a ps4.. lets do this