All I see is an ugly, empty girl
Who has nothing to offer this world.
All I carry is a stupid, loving heart
And always pretending I'm fine and can't be
I hate my too brown eyes, the color of shit,
I hate my smile, so fake isn't it?
I hate the roundness of my face
And how I think it's such a damn disgrace.
My voice sounds like a child, way too high.
I always seem to laugh but it's just another pathetic lie.
I have way too much shyness and not enough brave,
It's rather embarrassing, disappointing, and grave.
I keep quiet because I'm not smart enough,
I push people away because I'm not good enough.
There are so many others who are 100x better.
I just wish I was a little better.
I'm just a burden, an empty vessel,
A waste of space, nothing but a hassle.
So many scars from all insults I have said,
That maybe, just maybe, I'm better off dead.
I never do anything right so why should I fight?
My specialty is hating myself, drowning out light.
I wish I could stop, but I don't know how,
I want to love myself, before I drown.
I hate how I hate myself more than anything,
When others seem to love my everything,
Maybe I'll find the spark again, maybe not,
Maybe hope for loving myself isn't entirely lost.