You think you see pain ?
The happiness lifted over me like a warm blanket.
I'd buried myself in it for years.
The soft fluff covering my deep grazes.
The unforgiving gazes of others a long gone dusty book.
So I'd forgotten about the cuts, the bruises, the black prune eyes.
I forgot the deep dark hole in the pit of my tummy.
It was covered by a stitched up masterpiece of velvet string tears.
Each square sown up of guilt, shame, sadness, pain, anger.
Each a different story covering a deeper pain.
Stories of various forms of self abuse, addictions, theft, homelessness etched in intricately.
Then covering, those parts where the frills on the massive blanket, the house, the clothes, the mannerisms, the act, the constant never ending " happiness" .
The blanket covered my torn up ragged body so neatly, so perfectly.
Every feathery fluff snug on my every curve.
Thick velvet down painted on me.
As I layed awake at night I shivered to think what could possibly lie underneath these covers.