The other me
sometime it just happens,
no warnings no reasons,
sometime my alter ego just wakes up suddenly
'the other me'
don't let me do anything
don't let me feel anything
and it feels like no one care about me,
but maybe the truth is opposite.
I know many people who loves me,
who really want to see me alive at least,
but 'the other me' doesn't let me know the truth.
Laying, feeling the body sinking down in the bed,
doesn't want to talk to anyone,
ignoring texts and calls i get,
just making everyone feel I'm busy somewhere.
Feeling the depression growing on my mind,
shaking of palms, body getting cold.
I'm not scared
but nervous, can feel the anxiety,
don't know why,
can feel the pain I got in the past,
can feel the heart that was broken once,
but it is in good hands now,
maybe the best i can get,
helping me get heal faster than ever,
but what about 'the other me',
the one who always open the door
that lead me to the dark part of my mind.
I feel worthless,
i feel death,
i feel like I'm not the one who must be alive,
feels likes it will be better to die,
just want to get free from all these pains,
but then i thought about my parents, my loved ones,
the love of my life,
will they be able to live without me?
will they be happy someday after my death?
i can't see them crying,
I can't see the tears in their eyes,
I can't give them pain just for getting free from my pain
i can't take all the happiness from their lives,
i need them, i need to make them feel happy.
I just want to fulfill their dreams,
give all the love and happiness to my love that he deserves,
want to live the life that i dreamt with my love.
i have to change,
i have to control my emotions,
i have to save my friendships and relationship,
i have to make my parents proud.
The only person i want to die is 'The other me'.