#morbid

40 posts
  • mercy_cancerian 6w

    The ringing of the triangle

    I closed my eyes with no choice and was swallowed up by darkness which was unavoidable, I stood still for a few seconds and I hear the sound of a loud bell which I than covered my ears cause the sound was horrific and echoed on so long, and in the distance I see a shroud walking from a great distance, I felt a great fear blanket my entire body as the air grew cold, I could see my breath and could feel my lips beginning to crack as the shroud got closer.

    Slowly getting closer and only getting colder, and in its white chalky hands it held a triangle and small rusty iron mallet, it stopped five feet infront of me and I felt my body fall limp and went down to my knees, I began to cry and could feel my tears freeze midway down my face, the shroud than hit the triangle with the rusty mallet and the loud sound shook the very dark ground below and I felt my body forcefully bow down while crying with a Shakey whimpering voice, the fear was so great and unlike anything I have ever felt.

    Under my own cold voice I managed to let a few words escape my voice box "why am I here...." While frozen tears built up on and around my eyes, I pushed off the blackened ground and looked up to the faceless shroud "why?" And it stood there looking at me, than it came down to my level on its own knees and set the bell and mallet down between us, it slowly raised its hands to my face as I shivered even more, its cold touched numbing my skin and it pushed away the ice tears from my eyes.

    Looking with fear where eyes should be and it spoken to me "you child, young child are here by your own hand, you made the choice to take your own life and I am merely here to take you for judgment, no mercy from me for I am just the bringer" it's voice was strong and soft at the same time, the sound seemed like multiple voices all at once which seemed soothing, and I replied "I had no choice, I'm sorry! Please give me one more chance! I'm sorry!" And it stood up looking down at me as I looked up with more freezing tears "please!!!"

    And it replied "I am just the bringer, there is no mercy from me child" and he picked up the mallet and bell "one more ring from the triangle will reveal that if you are ready for judgment or not, stand to your feet child, assume your stance" and I cried even harder while trying to catch my running breath, I begged more and more and after a few moments I had to accept my fate, there was no looking back, I put one foot on the ground and pushed myself up to my feet and took one last breath and wiped my icy eyes and stood staring at the shroud, and it moved its hand to the side, slowly about to ring the triangle for the third time.

    I closed my eyes while lowering my head, ready to face eternity of bliss or hell, standing there waiting for that loud sound of that triangle but it never came, and when I slowly opened my eyes I woke up in a hospital bed with bandages on my arm and wrist, I screamed and a few nurses came rushing in doing their best to calm me down and after a few seconds I finally realised where I was....
    Was it all a dream? I wasn't sure what had happened, and yes I did try to take my own life, that was four days ago

    But that dream was beyond too real if it really was a dream at all, if it wasn't than I was given my chance to live once more, but I shudder to think of what if I did hear that last ring of the triangle? just hearing any kind of ring brings that same fear I felt in that dark place back into my heart and now I know better, I know to cherish life and not to try another suicide attempt again.... I pray for anyone who goes through the same experience and does hear that last haunting third ring, I can only pray they don't meet death face to face like I did.

    The end

  • alissandrasmith 10w

    Buried.

    The expectation of my death has already been personally preprepared for by my friends.
    I wouldn't be suprised if the funeral arrangements and coffin size hadn't before been measured and designed, in a dignified inexpensive style.
    Perhaps a repaired recycled wooden box and another box of matches from the local convenience shop.
    Better yet dump me in the sea so the mammals can feed off of me before I rot, or plant me in the ground so that I may grow into a grand tree, to florish finally.
    A life sacrificed morbidly, accidentallly. Unable to conform properly, uncontrollably emotionally distorted, unsupported mentally, discarded, exhausted and faint hearted and introverted un-coordinated sociably. I just scribble frivalously perpetually, unacceptably me.
    Financially crippled with tricky, pretty dreams, I live in my head, it can be gritty because I can't stand reality.

    ©ATC

  • holylamb 13w

    God's Vengeance

    The storms
    The flash of light
    The growl of God's stomach
    The Earth is talking about life
    The rain
    The tears of the once loved,
    Fall and will soon become nothing more than a muddy mess
    The wind, bustling through the trees, is but the whistle of an angel
    Gazing upon the horizon, water drops glisten upon the petals of flowers in the garden
    And in the language of the plants, this is love, this is the only thing they have
    At night fall, storms calm and distressed skies clear
    Look up to the stars, taken aback
    Watch the fog pass over and fill your lungs until you're gasping for air
    Feel the cold breeze, let it freeze you to the bone
    Let yourself crumble into the ground, becoming one with the world
    Food for the worms,
    Now the cycle repeats
    Warm, sunny days are but a dream now,
    An angry God rages
    He speaks now and will return to see what he has made,
    Setting sights on atomic bombs and gas chambers,
    He sees now that Hell has risen,
    And so comes the rapture.
    Beams of light pull you up
    Raging fire pulls you down
    The seas begin to evaporate
    Color draining from the sky
    Leaving the unholy left to die.

    ©holylamb

  • no_heartpoet 13w

    Dark

    Dark day,dark night
    dark being,no light,
    Run scream out of sight,
    I'm coming with a knife,
    Slit wrist,cut throat,
    blood spill don't choke,
    Manic laugh scream and squirm,
    Pick ashes in a urn?
    or buried with the worms?
    Dark cloak silent death,
    Hurry now only a few minutes left,
    Times up,blade flash
    I wonder how long you'll last
    Limp body bloody fall
    laugh and hang the ragdoll, I am death dark and pure,you can run and hide,just know all mortals eventually dies,
    I'll be waiting
    K.$
    ©koda_smith

  • comacluster 15w

    Listless Again

    Hey, listen -
    you listless again?
    Oh, what a shame.
    I know it sounds lame.
    But in the locked room of listnessness
    everything is a mess.
    Listless again?
    Got to pop those pills on time.
    They create the highs
    far away from the dumps.
    At least, you get to smile.

  • comacluster 15w

    Ghost

    I am no more.
    I close my eyes and all the world
    drops dead.
    I open my eyes and nothing comes
    alive again.
    Vibrancy and electricity mean nothing
    to me; I have lost something.
    It's worse when I remember how
    the colours swirled and unfurled.
    Now I just see grey.
    I close my eyes and all the world
    drops dead.
    I open my eyes and nothing comes
    alive again.
    I am just an empty shell.
    Lifeless, torn, frozen.
    I am an ugly ghost.

  • comacluster 15w

    Friendlessness

    This is a wicked state.
    People hovering upon.
    People on you.
    But none of them is special -
    not for you, anyway.

    Loneliness among a crowd
    of frenzy leads to a messiness.
    But you want that aloof.
    You want that abandonment.

    Friendlessness is a state.
    It's a game of fate, and you're
    left to catch yourself;
    extremely alone.

  • comacluster 15w

    Suicide Note

    It's the shortest
    suicide note ever.
    You said Goodnight.
    I said Goodbye.
    Never to meet again,
    we'll go on an endless ray.
    Yours might be of guilt.
    I'll frolic painlessly in the hills.

  • sabercrayon 16w

    #0

    She's taking off her jewellery;-
    Then taking out her bones,
    To set them soundly sleeping,
    Deep within the tombs.

  • mindlesswriter1996 20w

    My thoughts race as I pace the room, thinking of the simplest way to clean up the splatter made from bashed brain matter.

    @mindlesswriter1996

  • kevynd 22w

    Would you?

    Would you care if I died. Would Would you miss me, would you stop and remember me. I'd remember. I cry at night, wishing for you to hold me. I remember the soft embrace and every touch. I'm dying, did you know? Heart break can do that. You must not have cared. Otherwise I wouldn't be dead...
    ©kevynd

  • comacluster 23w

    Voices

    I lie in the darkness
    and I can hear gentle
    snores from beside.
    My mother lies listless;
    blissfully unaware
    as the voices of despair
    latch onto my head,
    fast and relentless.
    I hear how messed up I am.
    I hear all my mistakes.
    What a bad child I've been!
    What a disgrace...
    My soul is torn up lace -
    Once beautiful, now left up
    for stitches and repair.

    ©comacluster

  • comacluster 25w

    Torchlight

    Hovering above me
    is a bright spot.
    I wish it was a star.
    But it is not.

    It is a torchlight.
    Stars are friendly.
    Stars twinkle incandescent.
    But this one's deadly.

    From one corner
    of the pitch black room
    it shines upon me.
    But not like the moon.

    It is fakery
    but it looks so actual.
    My mind is playing tricks.
    None of it is factual.

    ©comacluster

  • comacluster 25w

    Delusion

    Did I, did I
    see you not?

    Am I, am I
    being sane or not?

    Why am, why am I
    stuttering a lot?

    Can you, can you
    sit in another spot?

    Please, please
    stop speaking.

    Please, please
    just go away.

    ©comacluster

  • comacluster 27w

    The Brick Wall

    Brick by brick
    I unload a truck
    of my dreams and fantasies
    onto all of you.

    Everything is crafted
    carefully. Shrewdly, I
    watch all of you gasp
    as my mouth spins a story.

    I live a life of lies
    and overdramatic sighs.
    The sights are pleasant
    and everyone likes me.

    But I am tearing down.
    I cannot continue this
    pantomime.
    Life is excessively wicked.
    Internally, I am sickened.

    Sweaty and tired, I have
    built a brick wall of lies
    around myself. Now I itch
    to get the hell out.

    It is the same brutal shout
    that the peanut crunching crowd
    shoves in to see. Except,
    there is not a person in my sight.

    The evil wall looms over me.
    The wall that I have made with
    my own sick mind - now I
    struggle to toss it out.

    I am the girl with the
    perfect life. None of you
    can see how I am
    effortlessly breaking inside.

    I don't want to do this
    anymore. The wall separates
    me. This is surreal. I can't survive if this is all that's real.

    Life behind the brick wall
    is harsh. Far lies the elusive truth.
    Nothing comes out of my mouth
    except the brick lies.

    The mortar is weak.
    I know it just needs a push
    and I'll be set free from
    the incomings of loathing.

    Calmly, I plan the destruction
    of my wall. I throw in
    little cracks and wait for
    the loud battle call.

    I don't know if it'll work.
    I can only hope.
    I hope the Athena breaks through
    before these lies break me.

    ©comacluster

  • comacluster 27w

    Twenty-ninth poem from my poetry collection 'The Brick Wall'.

    Yes, I stole the title from the great Sylvia Plath.

    #pod #poem #poetry #poet #sad #triggerwarning #selfharm #harm #drugs #drug #druguse #mirakee #mirakeeworld #readwriteunite #rwu #melancholy #depression #depressing #morbid

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    Fever 103°

    The great fire burns in my mind.
    My thoughts are entwined
    through the gates of hell.
    This is where my soul will sell.

    The drinks are set out.
    But tonight, I'll only be throwing them a pout.
    What I need is a white powder
    served up with some chowder.

    The great fire burns in my mind.
    I just need to unwind
    and let this fever run its course
    of addictive, unstopping force.

    The smoke rises from the ashes
    and my head crashes
    from inhaling that heavy scent
    of destruction from the fickle vent.

    The great fire burns in my mind.
    I am an animal made to grind
    and dance as the crystalline salts please.
    I'll give them a striptease.

    First, my eyes will close
    after I ingest the dose.
    Then, I'll shake my limbs
    and fly high on my wings.

    The great fire burns in my mind.
    I'll dance ill-timed.
    My body will be a mess
    until I pass out in the fever's caress.

    ©comacluster

  • comacluster 27w

    Twenty-eighth poem from my poetry collection 'The Brick Wall'.

    Author's Note: Written for a (now) ex-best friend. It hurts.

    #pod #poem #poetry #poet #mirakee #mirakeeworld #readwriteunite #rwu #melancholy #depression #depressing #morbid #bestfriend #stillhurts

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    To My Best Friend

    You always listen to me cry
    and you're never shy
    in dishing out advice
    when it is needed.

    Sometimes, your words hurt
    and I feel like dirt.
    But that isn't because I'm mad
    at you. It's because I'm feeling sliced.

    On those hurtful words, I
    am quick to respond; an eye
    for an eye, you can remark.
    But internally, I'm dying.

    I can never be angry with you
    for long as you're the one girl who
    truly understands me in all
    my broken glory and withered scars.

    We are quick to resolve.
    All our flights dissolve
    with a long phone call and
    a penchant for saying sorry.

    I am sorry for saying those mean words.
    I know I unleashed them in herds.
    I am sorry. I am so sorry.
    I guess I'm a walking apology?

    Best friend, promise me that
    you'll never leave me on the drop of a hat.
    I need you in my life
    more than I need water and air.

    Yours lovingly
    - your best friend

    ©comacluster

  • comacluster 27w

    Twenty-seventh poem from my poetry collection 'The Brick Wall'.

    "Mental illness is a flaw in chemistry, not character."

    #pod #poem #poetry #poet #sad #mirakee #mirakeeworld #readwriteunite #rwu #melancholy #depression #depressing #morbid #mentalillness #actuallymentallyill

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    The Chemicals In My Brain

    The chemicals in my brain
    and making me strain.

    I'm acting so strange
    that it's out of anyone's range.

    These polypeptides have gone crazy
    and my perception is way too hazy.

    I have lost it.
    I have lost the wit.

    The chemicals in my brain
    are making emotions rain.

    Sometimes, I'm a little happy
    and other times, I'm way too sappy.

    The chemicals in my brain
    are causing me and everyone pain.

    ©comacluster

  • comacluster 27w

    Chess On A Rooftop

    The cool night air
    flows through your hair
    ruffling it in the process
    as we play a match of chess.

    The sky is full of clouds
    Your next move enshrouds
    your king. My fingers hover
    over the board in a flutter.

    To castle or not?
    Your queen has a spot
    on my knight
    and my mind's lost the fight.

    Through the semi-darkness
    of the moonlight blackness
    I can see your smirk.
    I am trapped in your handiwork.

    Soon, soon I will lose
    and you'll come close
    to becoming a prat
    by trying to pick up a spat.

    That spat will be done.
    The board will be reset to won.
    And again and again
    we'll play in a chain.

    ©comacluster

  • comacluster 27w

    Twenty-fifth poem from my poetry collection 'The Brick Wall'.

    Warning/Author's Note: Things get nasty here...in a faintly sexual way. Proceed with caution.

    #pod #poem #poetry #poet #sad #triggerwarning #selfharm #harm #mirakee #mirakeeworld #readwriteunite #rwu #melancholy #depression #depressing #morbid #sexual #sensual #sensualverses

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    Sheet Music

    I shiver in your wake.
    You press all the right keys
    on my aching body.
    I shake.

    Your kisses caress my core
    as you go down on me
    and worship my soul.
    It calls for an encore.

    The rules to this sheet music
    and all utterly undefined.
    Your pianist fingers are free to wander; ah! So therapeutic.

    Your fingers are skilled
    even though you claim
    you haven't touched anyone
    before. But, oh! You've killed

    the painful separation of mine
    from a sweet, sensual release.
    I can almost love you
    and cross that thin line

    between lover and friend.
    A current sizzles through me.
    I grasp the cloth entwined
    between our sweaty limbs. This is my end.

    In the sombre darkness,
    you and I create
    the most beautiful symphony.
    I scream out to the blackness

    as I come down from the highs
    You don't stop, though.
    Bodies sliding messily.
    You create music on my thighs.

    ©comacluster