A request, mom.
Mom. A word so pure and divine,
that even angels bear witness to its sacredness.
They say, heaven lies at your feet, mom.
But, I'm not able to find it.
Please help me find the door to it, mom. Please.
"You are nothing but a curse."
"What wrong did I do in the past life to have you as my daughter in this one."
"You are worth nothing."
"I wish instead of having you, I never had a child."
Remember this words? Uh. I do, mom.
I'll always remember every moment, every day
you verbalised the facile repetition of these words
just to remind me how worthless I am.
I leave for college, hours before my lecture time.
I sit for extra-classes even after my classes get over.
I try to sleep myself to death 'cause I hate being conscious.
I prefer sitting alone,
wondering why I'll never be enough.
The reason? You, mom.
Unfortunately, home is not a sweet home for me.
I'm totally drained of my own identity and
I can't do anything but question my own sanity.
I walk around aimlessly,
somehow attempting to scrub off
your heavy words off my skin,
trying to win a war against my own body.
My mental state has been shaken to its core,
And thanks to you -
I don't know who I am anymore.
"I love you, beta."
This is all you need to say, mom.
This is all I need to hear.
Even if you don't mean it,
you can atleast fake a smile and lie.
I promise, I'll be okay with that too.
God is merciful, I heard.
He'll forgive you for this one lie, I suppose.
Won't he, mom?