My Baby Number Two
I got caught up in a situation,
Yeah I know it was wrong.
But ever since we started,
I knew it wouldn't be that long.
Til I would find that I was pregnant,
With you my precious baby.
Scared and emotional,
Your daddy had to calm me.
We calmed and we talked,
about what we were gonna do.
But one thing was for sure,
that I planned on keeping you.
Daddy told his parents,
and I told mine.
One thing I wanted sped up,
was the slow moving time.
I wanted to skip 1st trimester,
I wanted to feel you move.
I wanted to hear your heartbeat,
I wanted to know pink or blue.
It was February 8th 2018,
It was time for the first ultrasound.
We saw you and your beautiful heartbeat,
We couldn't believe what else we found.
Your little heart was beating 179,
it was going pretty fast.
But little did we know,
that this wasn't going to last.
A couple mornings later,
I woke up to a nightmare.
Thinking it was real I was crying,
it was something I couldn't bear.
A couple weeks later,
it was time for an appointment.
I was 11 weeks,
worried about a disappointment.
Doctor couldn't find a heartbeat,
but said not to worry.
She says you're only 11 weeks,
it still could be too early.
I've been having a bad feeling,
it was something I couldn't shake.
It was like I already know deep inside,
but was praying it was all fake.
Doctor rescheduled for next week,
to try and find the heartbeat again.
They tried and couldn't find it,
I felt the uncertainty setting in.
They sent me to get an ultrasound,
just to be safe and sure.
The lady pulled up the screen,
and there you were.
Motionless and no heartbeat,
still so small you hadn't grown in weeks.
The lady ran out to get the doctor,
I felt tears running down my cheeks.
Daddy squeezed my hand,
and looked at me with tears in his eyes.
The nurse took us to another room,
we knew this was goodbye.
The doctor sat us down,
I knew what she was going to say.
I had miscarried you,
and I was getting a D&C in a day.
You stopped growing at 9 weeks 3 days,
the day after we heard your heartbeat.
Daddy and I couldn't believe it,
Mommy cried in defeat.
We left the hospital,
in the pouring rain.
We got home and cried,
Mommy and Daddy were in so much pain.
The next day during pre-op,
Daddy and I rubbed you one last time.
Mommy went to sleep and woke up,
doctors said I did fine.
You were only with us for 3 months,
my dear little baby.
Bombarded with condolences,
being told right now wasn't meant to be.
You will always be in our hearts,
our baby number two.
One day you will see us,
and we will see you. ❤