Letting yourself go.
Where does it even start. When you give up that fight. And get lost, you trying to follow everyone else's path. Trying to hide behind a mask. Trying to be that person who wears the makeup.
Getting lost you don't know where to go. So you go down every path. But you don't see yours. You see everyone else's, you see how beautiful it looks. But that's just the way it looks, but that's not what's inside.
A long time ago I got scared. And I didn't know where to go, so I lost myself. I tried to hide my emotions. I became numb to everything. And when you become numb, it blocks out everything even love & pain. So I read everything I could get my hands on to. That sounds weird. But I got tired or taking the wrong path. So I read. So man of life stories. Never the same. That's where I found myself. I felt something once again.
But then something happened and I didn't want to feel anything. I was so lost that I look for everyone for help. And I kept some people in my life that would always hurt me. Finally they finally got out of my life. But I let them mindlessly hurt me.
2017 save my life. I meant someone. I fell in love with them. But that ended. but also I met other people that. The didn't let me go into myself anymore. Pulled me out of my bubble. And 2018 so much has changed. I'm not lost anymore. I mean sometimes I do get lost, but I know my path. What I needed to do was ask myself for help. I knew what I wanted, but I shut myself up. No you can't be that no one will love you.
That could have been a hundred percent true, but it wouldn't have changed it. So I finally did it. I let me be me, and I let the person who I've been waiting on telling them everything. I told them everything that they needed to know. I felt at peace. Sure I felt scared. Because I didn't know that future. But I would rather walk down this path, then a different one.