They say the sea is a crystal blue
But all I saw was gray
An expanse of conscious oblivion
Stretched before me, that lifeless day
I wanted to jump out of the boat
And feel how deep the dark would go
Maybe I thought it would be brighter inside
Or maybe I wanted to be lost in the flow
It scared me but my breath hitched in anticipation
And I was about to jump in, when his voice
Stopped me; a curious questioner, my brother
And his innocence gave me no choice
I broke the stare between sea and I,
Looking instead towards him, the naïve boy.
Little idiot, who still thought himself clever
Trying fruitlessly to revive a broken toy
His crystalline eyes weren't blue, oh no!
They were nothing like the lies of sea
They were black, darker, deeper, than night
And spoke more truth than I could ever be
My father, the man who had cried only thrice,
(And the last time was for me- my pitiful existence,)
He held his camera as I took his picture,
Putting it in my collection of precious moments
My mother loved the freedom of sea breeze
She smiled, and that smile was there to stay
And I sighed, trying to compensate, in my heart
For the birthday I'd ruined the previous day.
That day ended, and my father scolded me once
But I was happy, for they would no more pity,
And treat me with a disappointed caution
Like broken shards of a mirror that I'll always be
And though his words hurt more than that glass,
I relished the infliction of his poisoned pain
Because the wound of words showed he cared,
He cared enough to hate me again.
---Katyaini Ranjan Choudhary
*My existence is like a Toxic Chalk over the green board of my family's...