The split second before is the worst part,
When it builds up and is about to burst.
I'm a dam ready to break at any second.
The heart pounding, head spiraling, mental drowning.
Effective enough to make your literal breath stop.
When your hands start to tremble is when you know its starting and you can't stop it.
Just like a car reck, the momentum forcing it forward keeps it going on its course.
A gaze unbreakable though I've tried to blink, the tears just dry up and fade away.
Monumental erosion to the psyche, enough to destabilize an atom and destoy the heavens above.
That's what it feels like, the shrotage of breath, gasping and choking for air even when you're not underwater.
Yet it's almost like you are.
Paranoia has become my bestfriend, when she whispers her sweet nothings in my ear i go rigged.
Nothing can compare to the grasp she has on my hand, guiding me through the waves, and sinking my ship deeper.
Its a monsoon, with raging waters flowing from my eyes like the clouds in the sky.
A single tear, could mean so much yet look so inconsequential to an onlooker.
This is the somewhat ineffable feeling I get, and I know others have to.
You can't stop it even if you wish to,
because this is panic.