I have been so broken that nothing makes me happy, yet I pretend to laugh, smile, appreciate every second of my life and don't care what people say about me. With saying "I am okay"; I am able to fool every one. But in reality. I barely made it through the day, because smiling is always easier than explaining why I am sad. I wish people knew how difficult it is to get out of bed and act Happy when all you want to do is breakdown in tears. I cry, I hurt, but no one can see the pain and depression in my eyes because I always fake a smile. And behind that smile is everything that no one can understand.
I see a human boy, no more than five years old; crying because he didn't get enough food. I hear her mother approach, while I am hiding in the bushes. An insect , possibly a cockroach crawling on my back, didn't bother to remove him. I think of him as a brother, born from mother earth. Ze'dewn eats it and licks my back. She is strongest and most loyal wolf in my pack but she gives into her nature sometimes. I hear the boy's mother scaring the child with Red wolf's name, my name so that he stops crying. "He was born when the last thunder struck......a creature born from chaos, to punish the children who don't listen to their parents....one eye filled with complete darkness where the , nightmare creatures reside." She is right, I was born from chaos after "The Last Thunder" struck. Fancy name the surviving humans gave the Last nuclear warhead that showed humanity it's true colors. " Wearing the cloak of midnight, as dark as the starless sky....with bloodstains of his victims..." . She chooses to scare her child with my name instead of telling the ugly truth about humanity. Prefers that her child lives with hope of a brighter tomorrow. That everything will be all right in the end. Doesn't even want her child to know that even in safe quarantine zones, no one is safe. The zones where she had to sell her body atleast fourty five times a day to get just a day's food. And the projectors of humanity "The New Dawn" hmpf , she has to sell her body to them to get food. It is there duty to provide food. And their leader thinks that he has created a utopia in safe zones, "the crescent moon" they call him. He is a delusional fool who believes that everyone in his army is good. Ze'dewn tilts her head, not understanding what I am saying. It doesn't stop me from talking. Some say that the crescent moon had a hand in the nuclear war. Truth is all the humans had a hand in it. Humans chose to ignore all the signs and acted like they can snooze this destruction. Now... now the life stands on the brink of extinction. Half of northern America gone, what was left of it is filled with radiation. The great riots destroyed most of Indian subcontinent's farmlands. China completely obliterated from the earth. Russia a frozen hell now. Africa, Ebola won there and the entire continent along with parts of Europe and middle East now a barren wasteland. The tsunamis from 30 nuclear war heads sunk Australia and most of South America. The world is a hell hole now. Only five million people left with countless other species lost. That was five years ago, now maybe less than a hundred thousand people are left with very few flaura and fauna. And still humans act like Armageddon hasn't come yet. ".....can cut a man in half with his claws, lives among wolves, God's creation, to punish naughty kids" says the mother. The boy is scared now and has stopped crying. She sees a soldier approaching towards her settlement. "Go to Sarthak's tent and play with him" the mother says. "But, mommy it's 2:30 in the afternoon, he sleeps at this time" the boy protests. "Go now, Rahul" mother says in grim finality. Rahul runs of. The soldier approaches her and gives 2 packets. "Just 2? They aren't enough!" She protests. The soldier grabs her by the arm "be thankful for what you have, bitch" he spats. "Now..." He didn't need to finish the sentence, she understood as he looked at her with lust. She takes him inside her tent. I hear screams and cries, If I intervene I would sabotage my mission. I sometimes consider my heightened senses a curse, I hear things that I don't want to. Ze'dewn looks at me in the eye. Asking for my order to intervene. I look at my face, to humans it is a mask if they see me take it off. Funny I once considered it a mask too when I was one of the human. A wolf mask, having sharp fangs, a snout, teared from left eyes to cheek to show the darkness that is in my empty eye socket and to represent the Dark world they have created. "Please, God help me" I hear her scream and I hear a whip hit. I remember when I used to believe in God and how I knew he didn't exist. I woke up after the last thunder, surrounded by wolves. I was missing my left eye, didn't feel pain. But could see farther than ever, I could smell the flesh and blood burning everywhere, I could listen to the screams of survivers who later died. I could feel death everywhere that day. I looked up in the starless night sky or maybe it was afternoon that turned into night. I understood then, that God doesn't exist, he didn't slaughter billions, destiny didn't left an entire continent to die of disease, fate didn't butcher a brighter future. We humans did. I closed my eyes, I don't remember what my name was then. I understood we came from oblivion and we'll go into oblivion, we are alone. I closed my eyes but it was Red wolf who opened them. With only one goal "evil must be punished". I hear another scream and a whip. "Evil must be punished" I grabbed my sword. Ze'dewn took her position outside the tent. "Lets check if I can cut a man in half". I enter the tent. The smell of blood and bodily fluids make my nose hurt. I see the mother laying on floor,crying, bleeding and helpless. The soldier raising his whip "I will decide the hole, whore" he shouts. A screech of sword, a splash of blood, a scream. Ze'dewn quickly covers the mother and helps her. The soldier is horrified and in agony. "R-red wolf..."he cries trying to stop the bleeding from his dismembered arm. I make him look in my left empty eye socket and he screams. He has just looked in the heart of darkness. "Please...no... I am s....sorr...y.... I won't... do.....it again,trust....me" he pleads. "I know you wouldn't" I replied....
If I were to remember you, I would remember you a boy who feared to sleep alone and who ignored laughing too much. I would remember you as a husband who sobbed when his wife fell sick and a son who got scared when his mother coughed too much. I would remember you as someone who had a strong faith in literature and who followed the pieces of advice given by philosophers. I would remember you as a sinner who always wanted to be pious and who judged his intention before doing any deed. I would remember you as an artist who longed to heal the broken hearts and tried to guide the misguided minds. I would remember you as a poet who wrote what he felt but his poems hardly rhymed. I would remember you as a broken soul who tried to help others but couldn't help himself. ~Me to my reflection
I don't belong here. The feeling I always get whenever I sit around friends or in family gatherings or in a party. I don't know why but it feels like i am an outcast. I just don't want to fit here. This isn't my place. I have no home. I have to travel in search of it but there isn't one. I will always have to wander. I won't fit anywhere. But sure I'll meet people who care, but once again they'll become strangers. Maybe that's why I don't belong anywhere because I can't be a person's whole life. Maybe I am a part of their life and they're for mine. That's it.
From being excited to grow up to wanting childhood back From having infinite energy to being always tired From having an endless bucket of emotions to barely feeling anything From hating school to craving just one more minute in the classroom From wanting to meet new people to hardly even talking to friends or family From helping people to turning a blind eye From fighting among friends and reuniting later to becoming enemies From avoiding sleep to trying to never wake up From being always happy to being always depressed From having shine in our eyes to crying ourselves to sleep From being there for everyone to never showing your face From having best friends to realizing everyone is fake as fuck From dreaming about kingdoms in clouds to seeing monsters in people From knee scraps to cuts From scratches to heartbreaks From having a big heart to turning into a stone heart From having a purpose to serving as an example of purposelessness From never abusing to adding abuses to daily vocabulary From being the nicest person to becoming an asshole From thinking of love as something pure to turning into a playboy or hoe From trying to avoid kissing to fucking strangers From swearing to never drink to becoming a drunkard From spreading awareness to stop taking drugs to getting addicted From forgiving everyone to plotting revenge WE ALL TURNED INTO PEOPLE WE SWORE WE'D NEVER BE. #wordgasm#words#writer#writersofinstagram#authorsofig#poetrycommunityofinstagaram#poetry#poemporns#spilledink#penandpaper#poetryisnotdead#iheartpoetry#herheartpoetry#ilovetowrite#poetrygram#poetrygram#writersofinstagram#writerfeels#writerscommunity
Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives. Such striving may seem admirable, But it is a way of foolishness. Help them instead to find the wonder and marvel of an ordinary life. Show them the joy of tasting sugar canes,apples and pears. Show them how to cry,when pets and people die. Show them the thrill of flying a paper plane, Show them fulfilment of bathing in rain, Show them the infinite pleasure in the touch of a handal. And make the ordinary come alive for them. The extra ordinary will take care of itself.
I think scars are like battle wounds----- beautiful in a way. They show what you have been through and how strong you are for coming out of it.
A scar is a symbol of having experienced something profound. Some of us have physical scars that we can see; when we look at them, they remind us of a trying journey we went through. For many of us scars are invisible------- they are metaphors for a battle we fought and overcame.
Goal : Reflect on your scars and how they helped shape your life for the better and never be ashamed of a scar , it simply means that you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.
I am not gone while you cry with me. I am not gone while you smile with me. I am not gone while you remember with me. I will come when you call my name. I will come when I feel your pain. I will come on your final day. It could never be, that we would never be, We shall always,be together,forever I AM NOT GONE.
I believe in boys with sad eyes and soft smiles. I believe in girls who roar back at thunder, and can still kiss like the first time they fell in love. I believe in people whose skin never felt home to them,so they carved home out of the dust beneath their shoes and kept on going. I believe in all the ones who are told they don't belong. I don't think I belong either. I don't know what it is to"belong" But I know that the ones shouting have nothing to offer, That fitting road in the fad we're all starving ourselves to. I believe in us. The ones who never felt good enough. I believe in the girl next door,who likes to be called "her", but woke up, today with a gender that felt like hand spun wool and spilled milk, and who doesn't know how to tell her mother. I believe in the ones dating the wrong people. So their parents won't have to know who is that they have to love. I believe in a fear like that, I believe in kindness of strangers and I believe in turning blind eye isn't what makes you bad. It only makes you scared just like the rest of us. I believe in people who learn to be brave. I believe in hands picking flowers as much as I believe in the hands that plant them. Because sometimes our hearts are too big for our bodies and they like to go bumping against each other. Sometimes, Love doesn't mean what you think it does. You and I don't love the same, But we're all here LOVING. I believe in the collection of fingerprints you pick up from everything in our world you have touched. If I believe in anything. I believe that; and that is enough. #writting#penandpaper#postivevibes#positivity#spreadlove