And there comes the night. I almost feel you, laughing out in that garden of our home, the one we would build together. I can feel you happy. What more do I want? Maybe you are laughing at me. At my foolishness. But oh, how dearly I wish I were a fool to be laughed upon by you, and to behold every smile of yours in my sunken eyes. But alas! You ask me to build up my self-respect, and I doubt if I need any cloaks over me when you are around, but you are not. It is very suitable for you to forbid me any means of communication, and I won't disturb you for it. But this night, this moon and the stars, -this time that I spend alone-, reminds me every moment of the same. I dream of walking these streets with you. Not holding hands. Not walking together. I dream of eating meals with you. Not on the same table. I dream of sharing my life with you. Not through words. Not through a so-framed and named relationship. I have always been at a distance. I shall remain there. For there is reason enough. And I have never told you anything about love. Tonight I shall. No matter how weird it seems. No matter how shallow, how desparate, how unreal, how fantasizing it seems. I have never told you this. Now I will.
I do love you.
And I shall tell it to you every night, when you are alone with yourself as I am. You will feel the warmth of the blanket every time you slip in it, knowing that I would have tucked you in every night, only if I had the chance.
But I shall watch the moon pass by, every night, and dream with open eyes to watch yours.