The words rang out in the silence of dawn like a gunshot, and went right through me. My eyes hovered over the text over and over again as it slowly turned to nothing but a white blurry blob, my fingers jostling to make sense of the characters on the keyboard that had lost all meaning. My heart had turned into a savage animal that refused to stay in a cage anymore, trying to punch and maul its way out. My mind, it had gone numb, no thoughts whatsoever, just a deafening dead silence enveloped me. I looked around wildly, I don't know what I was looking for, you? I wish I could tell you.
"Don't say that, please
I really am"
That's all I could finally type in, unsure of what to even say anymore. I had already given in to the thought of losing you, and somehow it felt like my insides collapsed within me, leaving only a hollow shell of a man nervously looking at this little screen that now held his life captive.
And that was it, I no longer had any idea what to do anymore. I never expected myself to feel this way, and I didn't even know what this feeling was. It felt like retreat, submission, defeat, mourning and so many other unnamed emotions put together. A single word drove a dagger right through my heart, and left me to wither in pain, a memory that would soon wither away with time.
"Just write today's date"
1st April. And as it dawned on me, I no longer had to exert myself to breathe, my heart calmed down, my mind came alive, and a smile formed on my face, and as a tear drop scorched my now frigid face, my mind could only keep yelling one thing, and that is what I wrote,
"I love you with everything I have dumbo"