The Author - Chapter-8 & 9
8. PAST LOVE LIFE
I was studying high school when I met Tim Rander. We both were new to that school.
He was an expert in sports as well as in studies. He looked so hot, cute and admirable. He was our leader and as well as our role model. As for girls, he was the hottie pie that each girl longed for and me too the same. But I left that thought gradually ‘cos I don't wanna get into trouble, as well as I started to see him as friends rather than someone whom I used to see as.
Days passed, Tim is one of the closest friends of mine. He and I always roam together, share movies or songs or whatever to each other. We seemed to get together nice as friends. I loved those funny moments I had with him. Can't forget those times. It was a lovely time.
Our friendship never broke. We entered the same college and there we got a new bestie, it was Cialla. We were the three besties and most crazy people in the college.
But slowly Tim gave a gap between me and him. I felt so weird those days, he treated me like a third person, though he treated Cialla normally. I waited for that normal treating from Tim but it didn't end well. He proposed to me when I ran through these confusions. It was too much for me to carry. I couldn't bring up myself seeing him in that way. At last, I said to him to be just friends. He smiled at me but that smile wasn't warm anymore, it was gloom smile or a fake smile. I could see through him.
Weeks passed, Tim never changed. He was the same as gloom as every day. I became to worry about him. I couldn't leave him besides all alone in that dark rather I would take him with me but he won't company me. Then...the only way of getting him to excite him is to say but it's not right.
The next day, the news spread so fastly that we, I and Tim became one. He loved me and I cared for him but not loved. I always end up caring for him. He is like a child. Gradually the way he treated, spoke, hugged and kissed and everything that he made towards me made me tingle and smile and exciting every moment. I started to fall in love with him. I fell deeply in love with him. I don't want him to go anywhere that is far away from me. I don't wanna make him heart scatter or broke. I wanna treasure him and keep him safely and happily.
Our love was going smoothly, suddenly there she entered, she collapsed everything and went fetching Tim away from me. She is Tia. She took Tim by saying crazy things about me but first he didn't believe it, then once she made me do those things naturally even without my knowledge and made Tim watch it and then he believed her.
Then, at that night we broke up. I thought of his heart not to break or scatter but he broke mine and scatter into pieces. I was so naive. I didn't think of myself.
After that, we never spoke. Cialla tried her best to clear the mess but she couldn't. One day I heard that Tia seduced Tim and made him as her’s.
I reacted as it was nothing to me but deep inside in my heart it was so dark.
Three months later, Tia left from here to another country. She didn't even return. Tim never was sad or gloomy when she went off rather he was so damn happy. I never knew a character like of this from him.
I was more disappointed, what if he was so happy when he broke with me too. Is it just a lie? Is it just a play? Is it not true?... I don't care anymore about anyone nor I don't wanna. But what if it was just a misunderstanding I thought. Yet then, I'm gonna stop this messing heart of mine and make it normal and live as I wanted, I won't change anymore nor I won't love.
I took these decisions yet I ended up now with a two-person coming over me. And as well as my heart is once again messed up. I don't know with whom I'll end up or leave. I care for both of them. I would feel so sad if I leave anyone but I gotta choose any ONE. But that's impossible. I can't do it. What if I say no to both, but I reacted towards Aron as I do love him too. He knew it already. But not Tim. I closed my eyes and fell into a deep thought. Choose from the choice, according to my heart, whom I really love? For whom do I care a lot?...... similar to these questions and thoughts were swirling around my mind and after few minutes I got a clear answer for whom to be chosen.
It's none other but… “ARON”, I spelt out that word without my knowledge. When I heard that name I was so damn happy and excited. I had tingling feeling too. Something was different and it was nice. And that is how love feels, it just can't be said in words but can be felt.
9. ATTENDING A FUNCTION
The man near me who is the groom wore a magnificent dress and as for me, the bride, I was too wearing a dazzling dress which is in white colour. When we exchanged rings, we saw each other and smiled. And for you to know its an engagement between me and the man, umm… who was it again? When I took a peek at him, there was no face, what?! Suddenly my lovely dress was turning into a black colour and when I looked at the people gathered, they were all dead. Now I was covered up with blood all over me. The groom neared me and smiled at me and said “I'll come for you” with his palm in my cheek.
His palm was as ice as cold. I was unable to breathe the next second when he said that.
Then… I slipped off from my bed. It was a dream. Woah! What a nasty dream!
I refreshed up and gone to work. While returning home at evening, I met up with Tim on the way while he was going outside. He invited me to his family function. I glared at him, he smiled at me and hugged me as usual as he does and went. Now I'm the one being confused, just what is his motive? Does he love me or not?
I sighed and went home with a clean and fresh mind by forgetting it. But when I was about to go to bed it popped out. Once again I couldn't have a nice sleep. The next day, I got ready and wore a traditional dress like a saree. It was in red colour along with gold jhumka earrings and a medium sized gold chain with a small dollar, wore the hair as one plait and kept a small black bindi and kept kajal eyeliner.
I went to his home and attended the function. His mom is very caring and loving. I love her so much. When she saw me, she was overjoyed and greeted me and said that I was beautiful. I smiled at her as looked around for Tim. She just neared me more than she was and whispered in my ear,
“He is still in his room, not yet got ready. He'll be here soon, don't worry”
She smirked at me, I think she misunderstands us. I just don't know what to say ‘cos I don't wanna make her smile go away in this function so, I left. When I searched for Tim, he came back on the other side of me and scared me the hell out. He laughed at me. A few minutes later he stared at me. I smiled at him and asked:
He smirked and said
“Nothing, just… you look lovely”
He smiled and pulled me over him and hugged. He held me tightly so that I couldn't get off. The warmth of his was feeling good, it was somehow consoling me.
‘ARON’... No, I shouldn't. I pushed away from Tim and entered the room where everyone was gathered a.d celebrating the function. I knew that I still care for him but I shouldn't do this. I can't be doing this while I have Aron in my heart. Suddenly, a voice over my mind came, that said: “Do you really have Aron in your heart?”
I thought once again and again I'm lost in my thoughts. I'm over. I thought it was Aron but why do I feel like this towards Tim too. I don't understand myself either.
I'm messed up. I can't take a decision correctly. After the function was over, I went home and told Cialla right away what was happening to me and asked how to make a decision.
For a few minutes she was thinking and then she spoke:
“Tell me honestly, whom will you choose if I gave you friend or love. Don't rush think and tell”
I thought about it, if I pick love I'll have only one person and that person is the one to be depended on. But if I pick friends, I can enjoy the way I want and have many more and many persons will care for me and can be depended on.
“Friend”, I said.
She smiled and said:
“Gud. So, you pick us”
“Excuse me, ‘Us?’”
“Yeah, me and Tim”
“So, then you say me to pick Tim”
“That's not dear. I say you to pick through your heart, not through your mind”
“Well, will yah introduce me to Aron?”
She smiled and then we chatted for hours.
The next day I said Aron to come over to my home and introduced Cialla to Aron. She was amazed by my selection, I thought. But after he was gone she became sad and gloom. I asked what's the matter, she replied to me by saying that Aron is a playboy.
I was like ‘say what?!’