To the one I couldn't detach from
Sitting locked up in these four walls is exquisite, tranquil yet choking and my friend, your thoughts never make me feel desolated.
Yesterday, I looked at the noisy fan, Clinging my legs to my chest, condensed like a cotton ball all wet with tears and sweat. The Chest which pained, the heart which stinged.
I had the same nightmare — You suddenly come to me with all excitement on your face "I'm leaving in an hour" you say. I laugh, I let it go. You say bye and I realise You were gone. Gone afar for way too long. It wasn't a joke what I presumed it was.
All sweaty, All covered in tears, I sat up. Looking at the noisy fan, Clinging my legs to my chest, condensed like a cotton ball all wet with tears and sweat.
You messaged me saying, you were done with people around you, you wanted to leave and you eventually will. I had nightmares becoming true yet none hurt as this pierced my soul through.
I know What anger you hid inside and what feelings you don't express, I know it all. Also,
I knew what you said is the best for you, but I hated myself for not letting go of you.
I love you, that is the whole point and I'll miss you, I still do. I hate distances you know? Because right now, as I loathe myself for knowing this would affect your whole life in the best way yet crying for It'd make a big difference in mine too — I want to hug you so bad for one last time.
I want the best for you but can I? I thought
lying on the bed, inside the four locked walls looking at the noisy fan, clinging my legs to my chest, condensed like a cotton ball all wet with tears and sweat.