My Sister Taught Me How To Hide Behind Your Clothes
“When you are in his closet, you have to duck down like this.” My sister crouched down behind a pile of pants in my closet.
“But what if he comes in?”
“You think he’s going to be with his new girl, right Sarah?”
“Then you’ll be fine. If he’s doing what you think he’s doing, then he won’t need to go in there. Now, you said his closet had clothes hanging from it like this right?” Jules moved my shirts in front of herself. “To see through, just put your hands between the shirts and move them slowly. A boy's vision is based on movement.”
“I think that’s dinosaurs.”
“Gross, scaly beast. Exactly what I said. So let's say he has a slatted closet door. You are going to want to be high enough to see out cause you can only see down. That means take the pants and stack them on the ground.” Jules demonstrated this.
“But what if he opens the door? What if he needs something in the closet?”
“Hmmm. Does he have a dresser in his room?”
“No everything is in his closet.”
“Then you’re right. You’ll want to hide because if he doesn’t have a sock drawer, his condoms...”
“Are in a tin that is balanced on the inside frame of his closet door.” I walked into my closet and turned around, showing Jules where the box was.
“Why do you know that?”
“Your baby sister isn’t as... innocent as you thought.”
Jules rolled her eyes. She looked at my closet and pointed to the corner.
“Does he have a dirty laundry pile?”
“Umm. Yeah. Why?”
“I am not hiding in his dirty underwear.”
“You don’t have much of a choice. If you want to do this, then you have to hide.”
“I need to know if he’s cheating on me.”
“You two broke up didn’t you? Like, what, three month ago?”
“We did not break up. We are on a break.”
“Okay ‘Rachel’. So, I think I’ve taught you everything I know. I think you’re ready. When does he get home?”
“He should be home by 5.” I looked at the clock. 4:30.
“You should probably leave then. You need to get in that closet and hide before he gets home. Need a ride?”
“No I’ll walk. He’s only around the block.”
“Around the... Wait. Condoms over the door molding. Dirty pile of clothes. Slatted closet door. You aren’t dating...” Jules’ eyes widened as she covered her mouth and pointed at me. “You’re dating Robert!”
“Shh!! Don’t let mom hear you!” I shoved her into the closet and closed the door.
“No wonder you never brought him home! Why are you really going over his house?”
“Douche bag kept hiding my bras every time we banged. I’m on my last one and I need them back.”
“Bra-stealing-Bobby. How do you think he got that nickname?”
“Well if that’s the reason you’re doing this can I ask you a favor?”
“If you see a bra, 34C, purple, with a pink lace trim and a small bow in the center, can you grab it and bring it with you?”
“Why? Why would you need a bra like that?”
“I, err, saw it in a magazine but, um, it's so expensive that I mean...”
“You slept with Robert too didn’t you?”
“Last year. I was drunk...”
“You were 19! Why were you drunk?”
“You are 15! Why are you fucking a 23 year old?”
“Okay. Let’s not turn on each other because of some guy. I’m going to go now so I can hide before he gets home.” I ran from the house, quickly rounded the block and looked up at his house. I hadn’t been here in three months and already the house seemed like a distant memory. I snuck around the corner and climbed in his open window. His room was on the first floor and no matter how many times I told him to close that window, he never listened. I fell onto the carpeted floor and crawled over to the closet. I shifted around his clothes, creating a perfect spot to hide in. I sat down and waited in my hideout for Robert. Suddenly, the door closet was ripped open.