'Alisa, how can you have the guilt to kiss someone? I mean it's just a kiss dumbhead'. I was staring at the stage that was set full of drama - set out for people to watch and may be relate as well. Well it was totally working for me. The actor in the drama was feeling guilty as she kissed someone else than her lover and was being pacified by another actor. That whole scene there reflected to me like a mirror - a past that I tried to bury but the guilt of that always surfaces in some manner over these past ten years. Suddenly with a jerk, I hear again- 'Martha, how can't I feel guilty. I do not even like the guy whom I kissed. I just did that because I wanted to see how it feels to kiss someone else. Isn't that cheeky?' I sank in my seat, thinking how can I experience a deja vu for something like this, with my husband sitting beside me. He would definitely read the tension all over my face. Martha smoked a puff and replied, 'I do not understand why are you thinking so much. You said you did not even like him, but still kissed and you are saying you didn't like it right?' Alisa said, 'Yes'. The friend replied, 'Then just think it as an adventure. You did it but you didn't like it. The matter is over. And please do not even think of going to Philip and describe your adventure because you think you are guilty.' Alisa bit her lip and looked at Martha with confused eyes. She said, 'B..but Martha, what if he finds out? I love Phil. I really cannot lose him.' Martha sighed and said, 'Then you don't have to. Adventures are only pursued for self indulgence. Sometimes you love sometimes you don't like it and do not want to do again. Think this as one of those and get over it.' For the rest 60 minutes, this conversation between the friend and the actor continued and I was just sitting there like I was haunted by the ghost of my past. At the end - the climax - when Alisa met her lover Philip, her whole body was depicting tension, dilemma and unhappiness. Philip asked her, 'My love, why do you look so stressed? Is it something that's bothering you? You can tell me anything.' There the whole stage froze except Alisa. And in the way of opera, she was singing sonnet of her love and how she cannot afford to lose him and how much peace and solace he gave her. She was crying and asking forgiveness to God for her moments of weakness. And there that time for a brief moment my guilt surfaced and everything alive in the theatre froze. It was like I stood up and was singing that same cry of forgiveness not to the god I have never seen but to the man that has been loving me and putting his faith in me for the past so many years that I can't even count. With my cry of forgiveness, I sensed the drama on stage was also over, with the actor Alisa not spitting a word of her guilt but in mind repenting and asking forgiveness to Philip and swearing by the love they have to be loyal to him as long she lives. I didn't realise but tears started rolling down my cheeks and my husband squeezed my hands and was telling me, 'It's ok hon, just a drama! But it's true, when you really love someone you tend to forgive their mistakes. Nevertheless, I think the lady should have told her lover.' That just made me look at him with confused eyes. He asked me, 'What happened? You look confused'. I recomposed myself and with a smile, turned back to the stage and said, 'Sometimes it's easy to say that mistakes are forgiven, but hard to really reason with it. Some mistakes just leaves a scar that cannot be even seen.'