The color of memories
I loved you like a moon loves it's planet,
I revolved around you, you w̸͟͞e̸͟͞r̸͟͞e̸͟͞ [Ѧґ℮]—>
my world. How could you leave me? You gave up. You could have kept trying. For me. But you just faded away. And as you faded,
so did I.
Green. Nobody knows. You're gone. Dead.
Buried in the ground to let the worms and mother nature reclaim your body as it's own.
Green. You aren't in your body any longer. Where have you gone? Have you risen to become the angel I knew you always were? Or have you descended, to try and rescue all of those who have been punished for their wrongdoings and must now eternally scorch for their evil deeds? You, of all people would try and save them.You had always been drawn to the rejects and misfits, after all...
You love me, didn't you?
Green. What am I to do now? Stare at your empty room, and wallow in my own misery? And struggle to do simple tasks such as eating breakfast each morning without glancing over at your sad looking empty wooden dining room chair that is now sitting at our tiny sad looking table, wanting to be filled once more with your comforting presence it had been so accustomed to being possessed by. And our old houses longing to be filled with laughter and love as it once had was also strong now.
Green. I cannot function. Each time I see your picture on the wall, or scroll through our old text messages we sent one another, or even smell that scent you'd always possessed...
That potent, comfortingly familiar stench of cigarettes butts.
Green. I shoot arrows to release this pain.
Or, "grief" as some may label it.
After all, the only thing I could ever seem to do right was shoot a bow. And I'm none to brag but I was damn near an expert at it too. The satisfaction of hitting a bullseye with a hand behind your back; or bareback on a fast movin' horse, there was something... Freeing, about it. But now, it was time to shoot the things that REALLY mattered.
Green. First arrow. At your phone, which had so many texts of meaning memory entrapped within its plastic casing.
Second arrow. At that ancient tapestry you'd spent what felt like decades to finish and had so proudly and eagerly displayed.
Third arrow. At your letters to me when I was away at camp those many lonely summers I had gone.
Fourth arrow. At that precious picture of you and I when we'd gone on the vacation of your dreams... Last summer, The Amazon Forest. And the metal frame engraved with the words
"I'll promise I'll always be there for you."
Green. Damn. It won't shatter. The glass held inside of that old metal frame. The glass as well as the picture is somehow still intact. I shoot another arrow at its seemingly fragile casing... Nothing. Not even a crack. I begin to get annoyed and quickly shoot three more arrows rapidly from a shorter distance.
What. The. Hell. Is. This. Thing. Made. Of?!
Green. Now, completely flustered by frustration and confusion I pick up the picture and as I look at it deeply and longingly for a feeling moments, I start to feel tears begin to form in the corners of my eyes...
¥Ꮎʊ ℘ґᎾмї﹩℮∂ м℮ ¥Ꮎʊ ẘᎾʊℓ∂
ѦℓẘѦ¥﹩ Ᏼ℮ †ℌ℮ґ℮. ∂Ѧмη ¥Ꮎʊ Ѧη∂
¥Ꮎʊґ ℮м℘†¥ ℘ґᎾмї﹩℮﹩. ∂Ѧмη
℮ṽ℮ґ¥ ℘Ѧґ† Ꮎƒ †ℌ℮м!!
Broken glass. Shattered. Everywhere. My hands cut on the broken glass I had just punched and thrown onto the floor. Suddenly my screams turned to mere whispers as I fell onto the floor, weeping in the bloody mess I had made.
Green. What's a girl to do without her mother?! I neede̸͟͞d̸͟͞ you. But this disease you were were possessed by robbed me of the only family I had left. I am alone now.
Sitting here. Weeping and confused, my mind once a beautiful forest flourishing with life, now has been overtaken and is entangled in these vines of deceit, anxiety, confusion, hopelessness, fear...
... y̸o̸u̸ w̸e̸r̸e̸n̸'t̸ s̸u̸p̸p̸o̸s̸e̸d̸ t̸o̸ g̸i̸v̸e̸ u̸p̸ a̸n̸d̸ d̸i̸e̸...