A Cheesy Predicament
It was a sunny afternoon, Wednesday. Class schedules weren't out yet, so I sat on my bed, reading The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood, and of course, sipping some green tea. I was all alone in my room, like I always was, and that's just how I liked it.
"Nolite te bastardes carborundorum", I read out loud. A latin phrase, but what does it mean? I read further into the novel and later found out the meaning. "Do not let the bastards grind you down." Huh, figures. I thought to myself, taking another sip of the green tea, letting it slide down my throat as if I were swallowing my regrets, bitter yet better swallowed than to let it linger.
A knock on the door then surprises me. This is a run-down boarding house, who could be visiting me here? I opened up the door to find an old friend. A blurry memory, really, but I believe he was very kind. I let him sit on my bed, as that was the only place he could sit in this tiny room. I pick up another cup, about to make him some tea, when another stranger came knocking on my door, fiercely. I opened up only to find the familiar face of a forgotten lover. An Adonis with a menacing look on his face, now, what was his name again? He demanded I let him in, not only into my room but into my life as well. Bewildered, I told him to leave. He wouldn't be so easy to get rid of though, like a weed, he forced himself back in. He threatened to set me on fire, and I shuddered at the thought. "Good luck." He then said with a grin on his face. Good luck with what?, I though to myself, and then it happened! Cheese, liquidy cheese, came rising from the floor, wrapping around my feet. I couldn't move, the cheese was getting higher. The coagulated milk curd was gooey, with a pungent smell, too sticky to get out of. As it neared my breathing passages, I held my breath. Slowly, my consciousness drifted away. I then woke up looking disheveled, my foul ex lover sitting on my bed right next to me, my forgotten friend has disappeared. I had a feeling that I have been violated, soiled, corrupted! My legs felt weak, as if I had ran another Milo marathon. The horrid man stood up and walked around, then turned to me with his poor excuse for a face. "Have you come to love me yet?" He asked with a smug expression. Love you? You have defiled me! Was what I wanted to say, only until I noticed he had a rifle in his hand, a gold one. "Yes, of course, I have always loved you!" I said deceitfully as I wrapped my arms around his neck, tempted to strangle him right then and there. He seemed to be caught up in the moment, enough for me to be able to snatch his rifle and immediately shoot him point-blank, without second thought. He collapsed unto the floor that was bizarrely cleared of cheese, and I walked over his corpse, heading to the door and never to return.