I miss you
I drove down the expressway going an easy ten over what I was legally supposed to be doing. The windows let the wind passing over the car roar into the inside. The air was pleasantly heavy and the sky was a perfect dark grey. A few rain drops appeared on the windshield. I put my left arm out of the window to feel the sting of them as I cut through. A small smile appeared on my face and I took a deep breath in, holding it for a few seconds. There was a lightness in my chest. A familiar feeling like I’ve been here before. A tingle across my skin that moved up and settled into my temples like a cat in a shoebox. A song came on the radio and I immediately thought of you. Of a day, just like this, not that long ago.
Another text from Helm came through while I was driving.
: How much longer? :
I quickly darted my eyes from the road to my phone with each letter I typed.
: S…o…o…n :
I put my phone under my thigh and concentrated on the road. I was excited and horribly nervous. My legs had a slight tremble and if I gave into the sensation I might vomit. I got off the exit, turned right, and made another right in less than a quarter mile into the parking lot of the motel. As if reading my mind, another text beeped through.
: Room 432. On the back side. :
I drove slowly looking at all the numbers on the doors. When I saw 432, I kept driving and parked a few spaces away.
: Here. :
I sent the text and waited a few seconds before getting out of the car. I checked to make sure no valuables were sitting in sight. Made sure my keys were still in my hand. Put my phone in my back pocket. I was stalling. Was he watching me? I shut the door and pushed the lock button on my fob.
I walked to the door hoping he would open it before I got there. Thinking that maybe he sent the wrong numbers and I was about to feel even more uncomfortable than I already was.
He opened the dented and scratched door and my heart raced. He was beautiful. As beautiful as a man could possibly be. He smiled, revealing his perfectly straight teeth, and his moss colored eyes twinkled with mischief.
“Well, hullo,” his voice sent a jolt into my spine.
“Hi.” I quickly blurted and smiled sweetly.
He stepped aside and I walked in past him. The room was like most motel rooms I had been in. It smelled of cleaning supplies and laundry. Dark carpet with rainbow flecks to help hide any possible stains. A dark blue floral patterned quilt that does little to warm or keep cool. Two bedside tables, a small round table as a dining area, I could see a double sink facing the room, and a small doorway that must have led to a toilet and shower. I set my things down on the little round table and turned to face him. He had been watching me, taking in every move I made.
“What?” I asked him, embarrassed to be looked at so hungrily.
“You’re very attractive,” the way he spoke made me think of a wolf.
“Oh,” I felt the heat rise in my cheeks and I backed up a bit, bumping into the bed.
“You can sit,” he motioned behind me and raised an eyebrow in amusement.
I did as was suggested but didn’t talk, keeping my eyes on the creature who slowly sauntered towards me. When he was within arms length, he sucked his breath in through his teeth and swooped down quickly with his body, scooping up my legs and swinging them up onto the bed. I giggled like a small child, caught by delightful surprise. He sat down on the bed next to my legs.
“There, that’s even better,” his eyebrows twitched upward with each syllable in what I hoped was partly excitement and not just amusement at my expense.
“Those damn eyebrows of yours,” I laughed. He wriggled them more.
We sat smiling at each other for what seemed like minutes rather than seconds, and in those seconds, I was far happier than I had ever remembered being.
He broke the moment first.
“So, what’s your favorite movie?”
“Gladiator,” I said without hesitation.
“Oh! Really? Tell me more?” His hands moved up my thigh to the waist of my jeans.
“What do you mean?” my stomach muscles tensed in anticipation, my whole body began to shake.
“No. Just nervous,” I said, surprising myself at my candor.
He smiled that Wolf smile and raised an eyebrow.
“Nervous?! No need to be nervous,” He unbuttoned my jeans and slid them off my legs.
“Now, tell me what happens in Gladiator, from the beginning.”
I spoke to him but the speaking did not last long as he began undressing more of me and kissing parts of me that had never been kissed before.
We spent an hour together in that room. I could have happily lived out the rest of my days in that crappy little hotel. Before I left I hugged him, held him, I breathed him in. Trees, soil, soap, sex, and something I couldn’t place that I had only ever smelled with him. I traced the muscles of his biceps with my fingers before finally letting him go. I kissed him and said goodbye, walking to my car and thinking that if there were people in the rooms next to us...they are peeking to see the face of the person who made all that noise earlier.
I got in my car, rolled down the windows, and went back the way I came. On the way home, the air was pleasantly heavy and the sky was a perfect dark grey. A few rain drops appeared on the windshield. I put my left arm out of the window to feel the sting of them as I cut through. A small smile appeared on my face and I took a deep breath in, holding it for a few seconds. A text beeped through my phone.
: I miss you. :