littlewoman_jo

Imagining my way out of this confined little universe, by taking in bit by bit of reality.

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  • littlewoman_jo 7w

    Let go . . . Take this time to heal. Prayers for everybody. ��❤

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    Sometimes I feel God is taking care of things his own way. And He has a way to make things work in His own time. So we don't need to work any harder than we 're already doing.
    I hope during these hard times everybody is taking good care of themselves. This time it's not about taking control but letting go.

    ©littlewoman_jo

  • littlewoman_jo 12w

    Life is a gift but it can be a curse for those
    who don't know how to live it. Present is vital. Growth is important and we must never skip it in order to reach a particular age, so that we can fit among a particular group of people who just don't change. Because at night when we go alone to our beds, we can't help but feel we don't fit in this body.

    ©littlewoman_jo
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    #FridayFun

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    Life

  • littlewoman_jo 13w

    I am so sorry! I didn't mean to hate you. You don't have an altogether 'angry-face' and your expressions are not always harsh. You have a sweet face and an innocent one. You're equally sweet and innocent on the inside as well. And even though it's hard to see it, for someone who is as impatient as me, I assure you I see it.

    I hope I didn't make a mess. I hope my aversion towards you or everything else in general wasn't too visible to make you feel sick. But I do know you're good at taking hints even when I try not to give any. But I wish tomorrow when we both wake up it will be okay again. Normal again. Usually I make a blunder of things, so I hope this time the damage was only 3 on a scale of 1 to 10.

    I can't help hating people for no reason I have to agree or it will haunt me. Once you agree with something you can move on from that and focus on other things that haunt you. But right now as my mind is clear of all the hauntings, I can see how different it makes me. It's almost like I like me. A person worth some ounce of love.

    Most of the time I don't feel I deserve to be loved because of this entity that seems to posses me. I cannot declare this entity as foreign since it has always been there with me. Even though I feel it as something different it is a part of me and always going to be. So I've finally come to an understanding with it. I don't hope anymore to free myself from it because this kind of hope breeds 'eternal misery'.

    I have come to take responsibility of some of my behaviours, if not my moods and feelings because I can't control what I feel and at times I give into them. I am a human being! So I forgive me. I forgive myself regularly these days. I am making it a habbit. And we know, forgiving is caring. Caring is loving. I am getting better at loving myself. And when I love myself I can't help loving others as well.

    So I am practically trying to tame this 'entity' like it had tamed me all my years.

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    Scribbles from rainy nights

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  • littlewoman_jo 17w

    A diamond necklace

    In crimson hue
    Spider silks hung
    Covered in dew.

    ©littlewoman_jo

  • littlewoman_jo 17w

    We must not be afraid of change.
    Must keep pushing ourselves from time and time again.
    To know what our limitations are but also
    To recognize the strength we posess.

    ©littlewoman_jo

  • littlewoman_jo 21w

    This is not the answer to throw yourself at every random person to give yourself the satisfaction that you're not alone. It would only make me more empty than I feel now because the life I've created on my own, comprises of things I desire the most. But to fill up only a fragment of my life in exchange for all the innumerable treasures cannot be the answer.

    A while ago I'd been there doing just that, what people do to convince themselves that their half-hearted joys are nothing but a light that occupies every nook and cranny of a room. But I cannot do that anymore. I want the light that burns the brightest of all in its true form only. It can waver at times, it's acceptable but whilst it burns it must savagely. I cannot pretend. It's even worse than living a half-empty life and calling it as it is because here you can weep in the sorrow of it. It lightens your heart. Whatever the intensity you thrive in it gaily. It is a much better feeling.
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    @writersnetwork #pod

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  • littlewoman_jo 22w

    Maybe you did love them when you first said you do. But eventually you changed, you grew and it's only normal to. Your idea of love transformed too, only the form of expression didn't flicker. "I love you" doesn't define how you love a person, it just says you do.

    You still love them but may be more as a friend than a lover. But you're so used to of how you should act around them that you don't see a difference. If there is a foreign feeling or a shift in your attitude then you don't notice it at the moment because your brain takes time to process and then for it to travel to your outer senses is a whole another view.

    Sometimes someone new may come along, with whom you develop an instant connection and you get nothing but confused. But the truth is things are not as mysterious and unpredictable as they seem. That idea was probably there in your head for quite sometime. Only a random event has helped you bring it to the surface.
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    @writersnetwork #pod

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    Doubt thou the stars are fire;
    Doubt that the sun doth move;
    Doubt truth be a liar;
    But never doubt I love.

    - Shakespeare
    (Hamlet)

  • littlewoman_jo 22w

    I remember how i used to feel the damp earth underneath my feet. Water gushing out of pipes to acquire its every crevice. I swear its sweet tincture in the air still lingers. The deep brown colour of the quenched mud still visible. And in its wake sprouting of all the treasures- lush green strings of coriander leaves and red pearls of chilli peppers bursting forth with so much joy only a true gardener could decipher! The fresh scent of ripened guavas and a very distinct odour of its leaves and how they mixed and made a smell more heavenly. Oh! i had loved growing up around them and now i wonder why no other cologne would suit me.

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  • littlewoman_jo 24w

    What's wrong in forgiving someone even if all they did was tear you apart? It wouldn't make a difference to them anyway. They'll never guess how broken you were. If they did they wouldn't have hurt you in the first place or at least come up with a sincere apology. When you forgive you do it for yourself. You'll have one less burden to carry. Holding a grudge is tiring. Something lovely could've occupied that space and made you happy instead of all the rage you were storing. Plus there's a pride in it. You rise above them. You become a bigger man. Revenge is satisfying but the feeling is temporary. It would still hurt just the same. But the next time the desire to avenge would be stronger than ever. I've seen it. One man becoming another man's enemy. It will seem like you're winning but it will be your downfall.

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  • littlewoman_jo 24w

    I am so scared that everything I've built would come crashing down in seconds. This facade that I've put would reveal its true form. Like a ticking bomb I will explode. It's a matter of when. Better now than later because I can't deal with this agony. But right now I feel numb. There is no sensation of pain. Tears won't come. Just a small realisation of its existence but hidden. There's no peace to be found. I have no where to go. Who should I seek at a time like this when i am alone and unreliable. Usually I have me, but lately it feels like i have lost myself. I doesn't surprise me though. I had it coming.

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