I should've, but I didn't
Do you know sometimes when nothing's left to do, people pretend not to care about the things that pained them the most. They think that if they pretend, it would stop hurting.
I do that too, still trying to do it right. Because now that you have her, it's hard for me to not give up. So I'll try to do the same and when I meet someone new I'll think maybe he's the one. Maybe he's the one who's going to help me forget about you.
But he never is. Because maybe I wasn't meant to forget about you, maybe I'm going to love you for the rest of my life. Maybe I knew this right from the start and should've stopped myself, but I didn't. Because that day at school when I saw you after so long, I started shivering. I couldn't stand straight and my friends forced me to sit down because they were afraid I'd fall. But I knew right then that I've fallen, pretty hard actually. It was lunch break but I couldn't eat, knew I should've let go of you but I didn't.
And after all this years, I should know nothing's same. But at the same time nothing's really changed. I'm still the lonely girl with sleepy eyes who fell in love with you so long ago, who still shivers and gets a panic attack when she sees you around. And you're still the guy who never saw how bad that girl was struggling to be with you.
And now that it's too late to make it right. I know, I should've done all things possible to not end up like this.
I should've, but I didn't.