• alastair_alverson 27w

    It’s been three months twenty-four days ,to be more precise it’s been 114 days since we broke up.yes I’ve been keeping a count.It took me 114 days to move on and stop missing you.I don’t love you anymore ,I keep reminding myself .You ,our relationship was toxic to me but I couldn’t let you go .I was too addicted ,to your touch,how you smiled at me ,the way your hand fit in mine and how you used to treat me like ,the person I fell in love with .Now it hurts me knowing that you’ve never loved me from the start ,that all the time I’ve spent with you was one-sided.I don’t have anything to remind me that it’s okay ,because you’ve already clarified that you never did love me.You kept feeding me with lies that I was the one and you truly loved me.You’ve made me stop trusting people with what little I was left with.I gave you my all,you were everything to me.I know that I can heal ,but I don’t know if I can ever truly love again.The scar you’ve left me with is too deep and now I’m insecure of what I am and paranoid that like how you left me,I will be abandoned by all.I don’t love you anymore ,but my scars are taking too long to heal even after you’re gone .I know I will overcome this fear and be a new person,but it takes time and I won’t get the opportunity to be myself at this moment.Time passes and I can’t get to experience what I’ve been wanting to just because of this fear.Everyone wishes they could go back in time and not make the mistake of hoping and expecting things .It would have been better,yes.But I’m happy that I’ve learnt something from the mistakes I’ve made and I don’t regret it because you’ve taught me something no one else ever could.
    ©alastair_alverson