Letting go... moving on and starting over is hard! I lived that life for so long and it was the only life I ever knew.. although I was completely miserable I somehow found a way to accept it.. maybe even found comfort in it if that makes any sense? I hated the yelling... banging... slamming... screaming and every thing else... I just wanted it all to stop! The cruel things he use to say I can still hear in my head. The accusations and distrust ... the flirting.. controlling and manipulation... the abuse! It all still haunts me and fucks with my head! He’s gone but than again he’s not... he’s still here inside me and inside our poor children.. I struggle every single day with triggers / reminders of him... every where I go and every where I look he’s there... something I hear or smell or something someone says immediately reminds me of him... I hate it... I just want to forget... I want to stop feeling! I broke out of the prison I for so long called a life but am I really free??? I don’t think I am!!