We are what we are. We are hardwired to certain things. When we realize our patterns we try to change because most patterns are not so preferred when they are developed naturally. When we focus on them we are able to change it but as soon as we lose focus we fall in that se habits without even noticing it. Because they have become a part of who we are. We regress in the previous self as we lose control. That's why improvement is a continuous process we can't put a point in life where we are the best of ourselves because we will regress to something lesser the minute we think we are out of it.