• besty__varghese_ 23w

    How does it feel to be a girl??

    And one day I asked myself, "how does it feel to be a girl??" I should be honest with myself. I raised my eyebrows, paused for a moment and thought faintly.. I shouted out  cheerfully," Well.., it's pretty cool!!".. And i heard my inner voice chocking. I am lying. Suddenly i saw my senses falling into fear-stricken pit holes. So deep they were. "To be a girl...",i thought. Now more deeply. Random fragments of news headlines flashed through my mind...

    "Gang rape in city heart...",city they said and being a small town girl makes me safe. I smiled with a sigh of relief . 

    "A 16 year old girl from Suryanelli village of idukki district in kerala was abducted and gang raped by 5 persons repeatedly over 40 days..." Did I hear village?? 

    But may be they are just into teenagers. "So my teenage should be a watchful time..", i warned myself. I should not wear skinny outfits that may display the exotic bulges; as it may seem to them , of my body,i should not travel alone cause I am not capable of handling myself, i should not hangout with boys cause who knows they might turn crooked and start noticing that my body was growing, i should not step out of my house after 6 in the evening cause by the time the sun hides it's glaze from me and spreads darkness over petty minds.

    So here I was completely convinced that my teenage would be a cautios pace and once it's over i will be free. And while preparing for this freedome i heard it once more.."Rape of 8-months-old baby sickens india..." , "Priest arrested for rape of 70 - year - women in kerala.." 

    Now that was a shock to my nerves. It was hard to digest. Are they on a hunt for female bodies ?? So I have to accept it now. The truth gave out a loud bitter roar. I shut my ears tight, mustered up some courage and gently whispered to my frightened soul,"You have inherited the features of a girl fetus from your parents.., Be brave!!! ..., You have to protect your vagina from your mother's womb to the funeral tomb..." It was clear. How does it feel to be a girl?? I tried to hide my tremors behind a fake smile . I promised myself never to ask it once more.., "How does it feel to be a girl..??