I don't want to be loved, i want to be cared. These feels, they are unimaginative, gushing into me, tearing me apart, slowly ! Vehemently.
I don't want to be loved, i want to be seen. This making up with everyone, making everyone delighted, giving them each and every piece of mine is emptying me, modifying me into this invariant person with nothing of his own.
I don't want to be loved, i want to be feel needed. This caring for others, listening to each and every aspect of their lives, crying for them, crying with them is taking up my soul gradually, converting me into this inanimate being.
I don't want to be loved, i want to be 'Not lonely'. Living with these air gushing, breathing bodies around me all the time is making me dead, dead from inside, these masks of happy faces is making me sick, i want to be real, real with someone, not pretending my existence, cavorting with them not just laughing. Living not just pushing the years.
I don't want to be loved, i want to be lived. Providing them with love, providing them with happiness, giving them all that they deserve is converting me in into a vacuous void of nothingness. I want to be lived, be happy in this meaningless existence of mine.
I don't want to be loved, i want someone to slap on my face and say 'YOU ARE FINE'.