There's this void in me, an abstruse emptiness that haunts me to my bones. Many whom I've told about this void find my explanation or lack there of it amusing. I don't hurt, I'm not sad, I'm not even angry. There is simply a part of me that isn't there anymore, it just disappeared, withered away like an leaf. My adolescence, if I had to guess, would be the first suspect of the “damage”. But there's no one event I can recall that could have made me the way I am; a cold,unsympathetic zombie yearning for a culling. Another culprit is entertainment. Entertainment bores me these days. Too much, over saturated enjoyment. Loneliness is the other more prevalent (and likely) saboteur. A topic I'm very familiar with. Constantly I search for someone to fill the void, convinced that another person is what's missing. ‘But it's not that easy’ says the void. And I know it's right.
Sitting in a state dismal sobriety unsure of the decisions I've made and the path to which they lead, confused, always searching for the correct answers when they're never was one, doleful of the knowledge that in the coming months I will be left, a lonely dog abandoned by the pack just waiting to go feral.
If you're expecting anything out of life, don't. It doesn't owe you anything.