• word_smith 16w

    I Tried

    A fulfilling life is how you perceive it,
    but no subject comes with a bigger doubt.
    I tried living various ways to achieve it,
    and it took me way too long to figure out.

    I tried living "mostly" for God,
    but that just makes me wanna go home.
    I tried living out of my shell,
    but since then, I've never felt more alone.

    I tried living in memories,
    but it never feels the same.
    I tried living in my mind,
    but that made me go insane.

    I tried living for knowledge,
    but it hurt my eyes to see.
    I tried living for others,
    but I had nothing left for me.

    I tried living for love,
    but forever seems to easily fade.
    I tried living for myself
    tip-toeing on a very sharp blade.

    I tried living how I want,
    but it never ends up God's way.
    I tried living for tomorrow,
    but ended up neglecting today.

    I tried living for material things,
    and I'm still paying off my debt.
    I tried living for pleasing emotions,
    but now my life is full of regret.

    I tried living to fulfill my dreams,
    but my last one just shattered.
    I tried living for meaning,
    but can't find anything here that mattered.

    I tried to stop caring,
    but that just makes me enraged I'm existing.
    I tried to accept that while here
    there'll always be something missing.

    I'm stubborn, so I stayed in the rain
    hoping an umbrella would save me.
    When all I had to do was let go
    and come in the shelter that God made me.


    ©word_smith