What are we running behind? What are we running from?
My restlessness is growing enormously, I didn’t sleep last night. I keep on stumbling on fading faces in my memory. Figures haunting me in every moment, emotions of sadness and sorrow flow through my veins, they numb every moving life inside of me, and they kill every power or motivation to live. Why do people leave us, beautiful dear souls abandoning us in the midst of storms of life. It’s frustrating thinking of answers. I get attached, easily and colossally, and my mind never takes it easy on me getting over all the pain. What am I doing wrong? Expecting things from others, expecting more and expecting better while always being hit by their neglect and carelessness. It’s a constant struggle. One that I got used to so horribly that I think I can no longer build a healthy human relationship with anyone. It’s as if life is rejecting me, never willing to let me find my peace, constantly beating me and kneading me into a cold dead form of human, full of hate and anger. It is what I’m becoming, it’s inevitable, and sad. At some point I look up to the sky, in the glowing darkness, I feel myself soaring high, my body flowing towards the sky, as I approach the stars, your face is all I can see, I’m dreaming of a faceless girl, I melt at the sound of her name. I breakdown looking for her, in vain. I see her everywhere, in every sad corner of the street, in the lonely city lights and the speeding flashing cars, I see her in the gleaming drops of rain, and in the vast green fields, and every line leads to her but never finds the way. I yearn for her, pathetically.