You know how life has a funny way of turning "Wonderful" into "Worry-filled"?? Nope??! Jump in! This is it!
After being caged and handcuffed like that (which I must, no! Which I should, no! Which I OUGHT TO say was painful and uncomfortable as hell!), I felt a deeper connection with SAD (initially). Plus, to make me laugh she used a whip-like thing to tickle me!! So, long story short, we became inseparable!
But, later on, there were some times (actually several times) when I couldn't spot danger and thus, wanted to roam free but SAD was over-concerned about me (just like my Dad) and over-reacted by frantically saying "No" (just like my Mom). I felt bummed!
Also, I kinda got bored when SAD slept, as I was alone. That was when I found a new hobby - Overthinking! Why think about some small issue once, when you could think about it a million times? I mean, 1 million is DEFINITELY better than 1, right? It sounded like so much fun that I tried it out! Eventually, I found out that this new hobby was sometimes fun and sometimes (again, several times) a trouble-maker.
As days passed, I started getting obsessed with this new discovery of mine and later on, it became one of my biggest addictions! And one day, as I was day-dreaming about hot guys.. Whoops! Wrong addiction! As I was saying, one day I was over-thinking as usual when I suddenly remembered how genuinely happy and fun I used to be as a child. I was my own princess! I used to be so proud of myself even when all I did was just be happy all day! I was the happiest girl and I was the best! But now... Now, I felt like trash waiting for someone to throw me out! That thought hurt me... A lot! I felt like dying inside.
Besides, because of this whole JAIL situation, I was missing out on all the things that I loved with every ounce of my being and I was also missing out on many oppurtunities to do the things that I dreamt of doing as a child!
But now that I was accustomed to this cage (for life.. I later found out), I felt way too afraid to do anything! I mean, what if someone smirked at me with contempt when I told them that my dream is to become an actor????? Thanks to the extra-powerful lenses that SAD bought for me, I was now able to see and identify even the smallest goddamn signs of danger!
I let that thought go that day (which was a lot of effort btw). But you remember how addicted I was to over-thinking? So, it didn't take it too long for that thought to pop back in my head!
But the second emergence of that painful thought was when things were finally starting to unfold..