These hurting-and-healing cycles have given me so much of myself that it's irritating to recall how I used to be. How some people became my drug and what turmoil my body went through after their departure. Even when I wished to leave and run and hide how they made me feel alive and gave me the strength to release every bit of this intoxicant that permeated every single cell of my body. How they re-established my former, soft, cheerful soul mixed with a mild potion of boldness. I'm thankful for these hurting-and-healing processes which kept me going when I became lifeless in the arms of my, now beloved life.