What if we both are just not in the right place now. What if our Timezones have not yet collided. What would happen when they do. Do u think about all this too, or am I just being an emotion fuck and ready to end my life.
I believe my world is undiscovered and constantly changing, with every new person I meet or get involved with, whether mentally or physically. Tonight I was just seconds away from ending my life, before I saw a light brown coloured leaf falling to the ground from the branches. I began thinking metaphorically, did it escape from life, did it enter a new dimension, what just happened. I went down, picked up that leaf and slept with it all night, totally forgetting about my suicide intention. The next morning, I woke up and travelled back and forth from work to home and met new humans. What a lucky leaf I had come across, I started imaging. But was it really the leaf or just because someone entered my time zone.
This leaf made my life more positive, that's how I like to think. I left my abusive partner to give more time to myself. I realized that nothing is more important to you than yourself and your self respect. This is the first time I have walked on someone. Damm what was this leaf doing to me, making me superwoman, fuck this is going crazy. Nevertheless, my relationship with myself continued both emotionally and physically and became stronger and stronger, until one day when I read an article on how to change your time zone.
This article, totally changed my concept about life and living it. It talked about how your time keeps on changing with every breath you breathe. If you inhale positivity, so shall be the result, and vice versa on negativity. It also said meet more people, be more receptive of others and just ignore all the bullshit. In the night write down your thoughts about the day. This exercise I did for 30 days as written in article and kept going from strong to stronger.
During this role play I met a guy, shy type and nice, who loved writing poetry. He did write some for me too and I was impressed by his gesture, but that's after checking on Google. They were simple and originals. I told him about my story and a night with a leaf. He cried and cried and hugged me as hard as he could. I frightened but still confronted him. He disclosed, that it was due to his accidental action of kicking the leaf, due to drinking on the roof, which made the leaf fall the tree.
I just went into a cardiac arrest for 60 seconds and with his kiss on my lips, came back to life. I scolded him hard for pulling his lips out, but nevertheless I bent forward and kissed me and even sucked his tongue real good. Dammm what, why, how is this happening? Who is controlling my actions here. Fuck the thoughts I said to myself and transformed from closed lotus to a rose pealing of it's petals, to embrace for most purest emotion since Adam and Eve.