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  • _flow_of_words_ 2d

    Losing you!

    The nightfall makes me realize how lonely I am without you. There were days when you used to find reasons to meet me, but that has became a dream for me which will merely come true. The long walks which we had, do you even remember that? Or am I the only person who still cherishes all the moments spent with you? Yes, we are going apart from each other. Can you see that? Can you see my pain? Or am I being ignored? Okay, I am not gonna make it complicated for you, but here I am, trying to reach you, but all I get is the silence on the calls and the awkwardness when we meet. It hurts. It actually hurts, but what hurts more is that you can't read my silence anymore. We are just two persons who were once a soul, but now different human beings trying to make sure that this so called relationship won't end. Yes, it has became so called because of us, because of me or because of you. No, I don't wanna blame you for something I did. What did I do? Well, I too don't know. I think I lacked something which you found in someone else. 

    Let's be that again! Please.  I don't wanna lose you. I think I almost did! 

    _ Utkarsha Kalambe
    Dt. 24 Jan, 2020 @5:27 hrs IST 
    ©_flow_of_words_

  • _flow_of_words_ 1w

    The Cold Nights!

    The cold night has surrounded the alive me who was struggling to find the reason behind the unexpressed sadness. The songs are the only way to escape from the prison made by my thoughts, but what if that songs don’t help me anymore? If using a full stop at the end of my thoughts was that easy, then I might not have started this overthinking at the first place, but here I am. Overthinking. And overthinking about how to stop this overthinking. They say to open up, but what if that starts bothering them? I am alone again accompanied by the darkness, which isn’t scary the way it was when I was a kid. Many things change with time and that even includes some beautiful things like loving the darkness. The silence of the darkness is pleasant to ears which can be heard only by me. I am suddenly distracted by the drop of water on my cheek. I didn’t even realize that the tears started rolling down. This time I am not alone in the room full of darkness because the birds are chirping in the balcony of my room. I think they are telling me that they are here to listen to my unsaid words. I tell myself to stop overthinking.

    I am in the same cycle again. This ain’t gonna end because I can’t use a full stop the way I use it in my writings!

     __Utkarsha Kalambe
    Dt. 17 Jan, 2021 @02:50 hrs IST
    ©_flow_of_words_

  • _flow_of_words_ 3w

    Stars

    (I will edit it again after some days).

    The chaos in my mind is unbearable. They said, "trial and error works the best" and that's how I ended up relying on songs. Earphones plugged in, songs playing in the background and I am lying down on the terrace floor, staring at the sky full of stars. The sky is full of stars after a along time or am I observing it for the first time? Maybe or maybe not..who cares!? All I wanted was peace and that's what I found in darkness. It's the same darkness which looked devil to me when I was a kid. Time has changed rapidly and here, I am loving darkness which looks scary to most of the people. I guess there's nothing wrong in loving it. It's existing in this world just like you and me. It's a non- living thing who is doing it's best, to teach me the importance of loving the silence that comes along the darkness. Wait! Did I just hear the chirping of the birds? 

    _ Utkarsha Kalambe
    Dt. 7 Jan, 2020 @1:40 hrs IST
    ©_flow_of_words_

  • _flow_of_words_ 5w

    Unmeet us!

    Accepting the truth is hard because our souls were close despite the distance between us, but it's not the same anymore. Now we are just two human beings living in different corners of the world. The screen which was used to connect us is sitting idle, waiting for us to finally use it. The keyboard had stopped typing. The gif feature is silent with no recent history. The gallery is no more filled with our silly screenshots captured for some beautiful flashbacks, but they had started haunting me, because I can't delete it, not in my wildest dream. And I have became a contact from your inbox, someone from past, a page of the book of your life which you won't read again, or may be you will, who cares.

    The silence between us is unbearable.
    Is it the same for you too? 

    _ Utkarsha Kalambe
    Dt. 22 Dec, 2020 @2:05 hrs IST

  • _flow_of_words_ 6w

    Come!

    Those beautiful moments
    are safe with me..
    But it keeps haunting me..
    Just like you and me
    Being together!
    Are we really talking
    Or just pretending?
    I open my arms and
    All I can see is
    the distance between us!
    Are you here in my life
    Or somewhere miles away from me?
    I waited, I hoped, I prayed...for us!
    We are together..
    But not together....
    Somewhere far apart
    From each other!
    The silence won't end..
    This ain't gonna be the same again
    Just like you and me...
    Pretending being together!
    And the memories gonna stay...
    Keep haunting me!
    Come! Come back to me!
    Can you?
    I am here..
    Waiting for us!
    To not pretend anymore...

    _ Utkarsha Kalambe
    Dt. 16 Dec, 2020 @12:44 hrs IST
    ©_flow_of_words_

  • _flow_of_words_ 9w

    The Stories and Me

    I am a story writer, but sometimes I feel that I am a part of the story written by me. If I become a character, then why do I call myself a writer? Who is the writer if I am the main character of the story? If I ever find the writer of stories, then I just wanna change the lifestyle of the lead role. Will it ever be possible? Well, I just want a new role to play in the story of life. Everything was fine, even the hardships, but I don't wanna change myself after those hardships. I just wanna be the same before and after the hardships, but this won't be possible, not even in my wildest dream because it's life. It's life which seems like a curse, but it's not a curse because life is beautiful. The curse is converted into blessings when the hardships are turned into happy moments, but I just wanna tell the writer to make the happy moments stay forever in my life. I know that it's not possible, but I am afraid of changing myself into the "arrogant me". No, I am not changing, I have actually changed and now it's too late. It's too late for me to tell the writer for changing the plot of my life.

    Who is writing the story of my life? If I am the writer, then why can't I change the story of my life?

    Yes, I revolve around stories and stories revolve around me because my life is made of the stories and me!

    __ Utkarsha Kalambe
    Dt. 25 Nov, 2020 @23:53 hrs IST
    ©_flow_of_words_

  • _flow_of_words_ 9w

    A beautiful vase

    The curtains blowing in the wind made a narrow way for the wind to pass after touching my soul and that was how I woke up early in the morning, cherishing the yellow light that entered my room with a wide smile. As I opened my eyes, I could see a bird chirping in a way that was pleasant to the ears. Waking up even after feeling tired is how everyone starts their day including me, but I am not among those who wake up by that noisy alarm clock. The morning breeze entering my room makes me realize that I am still alive and living my life the way I want. There's my useless Smartphone kept on the table beside my bed. It keeps distracting me from my daily routine by its "good morning" messages. As I enter the kitchen, I know that I need my morning coffee as soon as possible because I don't want to fall asleep again. I play the songs in the background. It helps in killing loneliness because there’s no one at my home except me. Never in my wildest dream had I ever dreamt of enjoying the morning after all the hardships and that’s how my past became a potter for me. It moulded me into a beautiful vase which has indelible old scars. It knows how to be a ray of hope in a room full of darkness which prevents the minute particles of the light from entering the room. And I am pretty sure that this luxurious peace will be alive, even after my death because it’s not just the “peace”, but the millions of experiences along with it. I was that kind of a person who was afraid of stepping out of home, but I never realized when the outside world became tolerable for me. As I open the door, I can see the roads filled with the crowd of the people who are going to their work and I am someone among them, but I may be different from them. That doesn't matter because no one is going to ask me whether I am different or not. The crowds are not the usual irritating crowd anymore, but a way of knowing the lifestyle of new people called as strangers. These strangers are adamant at proving their uniqueness by their different ways of living and maybe that’s something I had started loving. I will just sit in the corner of the cafe, staring at those strangers, observing how they deal with other people and I completely forget that I was alone, sitting in the corner of the cafe. There was a time when I used to get lost in my own world. It was not at all something new for me because I was used to it. The truth was that it was not normal, even after being used to it because I was daydreaming for almost all day. It was not actually day dreaming because I was over thinking about where I was and what I was doing at that moment and I could not stop it, even after knowing that I was over thinking. I did a lot of mistakes and I was repeating some of them again. I just could not stop myself, but this doesn’t mean that I must keep blaming myself. I believe everything is planned, even the happiness and the hardships which I was experiencing. Thus, I started embracing it because I don't want to blame myself in the future and lead an unhappy life.

    Life has changed for sure and that too in a positive way. From being a person who hated harsh truths of life to being a person full of hope, the journey was awesome and I know that it will not be the same. Nothing remains the same. This is the reason why everyone learns different lessons because there are the experiences who keep teaching millions of life lessons. I don’t know what everyone thinks about me and I don’t even want to think about it. My happiness is the only thing that’s important for me right now. No matter how long I travel, I will make sure that I am living my life to the fullest.

    Well, everyone experiences the hardships, but that doesn’t mean that it’s the end. Everything starts at that point where we think that it’s the end and maybe it’s the thing which keeps motivating me.

    __ Utkarsha Kalambe
    Dt. 16 Nov, 2020 @5 hrs IST
    ©_flow_of_words_

  • _flow_of_words_ 11w

    Unnamed

    I can see you going away from me and all I can do is sit and watch everything helplessly. There's no going back because life is teaching me hundreds of life lessons everyday and it will never let me breath peacefully because life goes on and we have to move on, but there might be a solution of this situation and I just can't find it. A long wait is what I get, but that's understandable because it's practical. This understanding nature has became a problem or is it something that's necessary? I am missing something, but I just can't keep assuming something that's not true or it might be true. You are here, but what about tomorrow? I don't know the reason behind this restless feeling, but I seriously want a lot of answers and I hope that this restlessness will end as time passes by. I don't know why I am facing this, but I just want everything to fall in place as soon as possible. It's so hard to end what I just wrote, but maybe I want to tell you that you are free to fly because I can't hold you back from achieving what you deserve :)

    _ Utkarsha Kalambe
    Dt. 25 Oct, 2020 @1:38 IST
    ©_flow_of_words_

  • _flow_of_words_ 13w

    Temporary separation?

    He was there for me and he is no more in my life. I wanna find him, but where should I go? There's no one who will tell me his exact address because he went somewhere far away from me without saying a goodbye. Why is it hurting me if it was not meant to last forever? If it was not meant to last forever, then why did it start at the first place? I knew that I would have to face it one day because we knew our priorities, but I never expected it to happen so soon. That's what we call life. Unexpected things happen at unexpected times, but I never dreamt of losing someone who really mattered to me. I don't know how I will react after his come back, but for now, that's the only thing that I wish for.

    Are we attached through an invisible string? If yes, then I hope that it's a temporary separation. If no, then I don't have any option, but to let him go.

    Be happy! Cheers to the memories :)

    _ Utkarsha Kalambe
    Dt. 28 Oct, 2020 @1:18 IST
    ©_flow_of_words_

  • _flow_of_words_ 14w

    Destiny!

    It was too late when I realized the true meaning of being happy, but this doesn't mean that I was giving up on myself. Yes, I was trying hard, but I failed to find the real purpose of why I should chase happiness. There were times when I questioned myself and started the journey of finding answers of unanswered questions, but I never dreamt of meeting a stranger who would change that bad phase into something beautiful. The destiny says that we were meant to meet at this difficult times, but meeting someone who is miles away from me was something I never expected and it may be weird for him too. It's all good, but the question of the existence of this destiny was really something that always bothered me. I feel lucky because experiencing it is the most amazing feeling in this world. 

    Did we meet just because the universe wanted us to meet or is there really a reason behind this meeting?

    I don't know the reason behind this wonderful and mysterious meeting, but if the universe brought us here, then I am ready to wait and find the real purpose of this meet because the reason of his presence in my life will be cleared in the near future :)

    __ Utkarsha Kalambe
    Dt. 21 Oct, 2020 @00:41 IST
    ©_flow_of_words_