Sailing in the adulting boat, I have come to understand life in the most fragile ways. I understand death, I understand heartbreaks too. But more than anything I understand uncertainty. This is why I know this is the moment I only have that can alter the rest of life in the most tragic or comic ways. Not everything I say could be a gospel truth but the only thing I anticipate is reflect. 1. Death. Death waits at the end of the tunnel. At least this what I believed to be. I felt death is a distant demon. But it's not. It's besides each of us. We walk between death and life everyday. Yet, when time strikes, we fall on the treacherous side of it and that's how it ends. But that nowhere imply that we should retrieve in cocoon and not live life. It means if death is our certainty, let us live. Live as if it were our last. And do not underate the sunsets and sunrises you see. They are hopes to go on.
2. Hope. Hope is a good thing. But just not always. There are times when hope has killed me. Hope wisely. Everything shouldn't be pinned on hopes, something are better accepted the way they are no matter even if you spend countless nights wailing in pain.
3. Pain. The most inevitable part of life is itself pain. You can not call a life without pain. Pain will always find you at some juncture in your life. It will drown you in it for a while. But don't evade. Don't evade being broken down. Embrace it with open arms and let it churn your heart. Sounds hideous? But one fine day, it will be your biggest strength to face every odd. It will be your motivation, your purpose to life.
4. Purpose - Having a purpose is truly important. Something that gives you why to live. But purpose is a very intimate element. It can vary always. Find yours. Find that thing which drives you to wake up every morning. There is path which transcends the prison of success and failure, and that's purpose.
5. Success and Failure. These are illusions. And illusions are temporary. As aptly said, don't take success to your mind and failure to heart. You might fail, but that never means you can not succeed and otherwise. Let your Purpose help you strike a balance.
6 Balance. Balancing your emotions is the like unleashing rationality. Being slave to emotions and being alien to it, can be enormously dangerous. Learn to feel but not at the cost of your sanity and love.
7. Love. There is nothing powerful than love. Not many know what is love and what it is to love. But honestly it needs courage and strength to love someone in the most purest sense. And those who can do it, knows life. There are some mystic powers that can make a person unleash his or her true potential. A person who deeply loves is never a coward. Within him lies the greatest power called love. I believe in love even if it has pained me enough.
8 Enough. Learn to set boundaries with people. There are people who will always step on it. Some will throttle your sensibility and some will manhandle your emotions. Step out and walk off. There is so much more to life. Believe.
9. Believe. Believe yourself to the core yet be humble to introspect . Don't let the smog of skepticism blur your vision . You are your only resistance. There is a sleeping infinity within you. Awaken at the truth.
10. Truth. Sometimes what you think is the truth can just be a part of something. There is always more to it. Always. Taking a piece out of it, inserting your bias and making it your truth can never fetch you wisdom. And wisdom is the fuel to a fulfilling life.
11. Life. Final words. Life is bizarre yet beautiful. It's crazy yet sane. It's harsh yet gentle. It's a hodgepodge of literally everything. But at the end, you will thank it for it's absurd nature. You will!
It takes a moment to change the course of our lives, and to make us realize that everything is transient. Death is a nasty creature lurking everywhere but more than that it's harsh truth and bitter reality. But if everything is going to perish into ashes, if everything has an end, I still want to love the people from the core of my heart until one day I am empty enough to let them go. When they leave, I will weep but eventually I shall embrace their departure with a sigh of relief that I loved them to the core and I will continue to till I breathe my last.
The two roomed thatched home I live, Has a million of memories, Stacked in repertoire I keep playing, The long mountains of Sahyadri, And gentle flowing river hitting onto boulders, Making it's slanting trajectory, Is where I made paper boats, As each time my boat sank and melted, I made another, Yet another, Until the day turned into dusk, and maa would summon me for a supper, Collecting pebbles of varying sizes, I stored in a jar as a souvenir of a day, The tyres we propelled on the orbit of the roads Frollicking and jumping till we reached home, As Maa stood burning the night lamp, And baba sitting on the wooden bench, Grimacing at our mud stricken face. In the nights Maa oiled my hair, Tied them perfect into braids, overturning them into curving U. When dada and I studied nights in the verandah,. Under the shadow of night lamp, The stars smiled at us, miles away, As I vowed to reach them once. I believed the crescent moon to be my cradle, On which I will swing and catapult stars, To jewel my mother's barren hands. I knew this is where I belong, Between the stars and planets, Moon my cradle and sun my light. Till the time elapsed, Into a decade or two, I wear my spacesuit to meet my pals, To fulfill the vows I took beneath the sky, To shimmer Maa s hand, I set out on a journey, into an era of unknown. Believing even if I don't come back, Bringing stars to coddle her, I shall become one. And shine bright for her.
I don't at all remember when was the last time I loved myself, when was the last time I felt peace. Not that memories wouldn't hurt me now or that I wouldn't cry. I would. I would cry because I am human too. I am sitting on my roof and for the first time after ages the thought of self harm didn't struck me. I didn't complain anything to the stars or the skies, but for the first time in ages I looked up to the sky and felt at peace, I closed my eyes and I loved the wind. So much I wanted to flow with it.
"तुम एक लडक़ी हो और हमारे घर में लड़कियों को पढ़ाया नहीं जाता, उनका काम केवल इतना होता है कि वो बड़ी हो और ब्याह कर अपने घर चली जाएं"
My Grandma was 6 when she was told this by her father cause the thing she asked for was, books to study basic acronyms of the Hindi language, this all seems to be meaningless as of today, right? but, it did happen with her and I'm sure she wasn't the ONLY one back then, just for the sake they were women they were not allowed to study cause if they will study they might be able to recognize the difference between, what is right and what is wrong, isn't it? All they were supposed to do was, give birth to a new life, which would be better if a boy resides in that womb cause again if she would be a girl they would have to search for someone who could keep her cause of course she had no right over her own body.
Now, if I am talking about my grandma's childhood then this incident isn't older than 70 years so if you go deep and think a little further what would have been the Challenges those would have faced by Maa Savitri Bai Phule some 180 years ago, to think only about it is so frightening but she did, she didn't quit and ultimately she won!
She never discriminated between, The so-called Upper Caste and The lower caste as she belonged to the Shudra Community and knew how it felt to be discriminated against based on the family you are born in, for her anyone sitting in her class was a student seeking enlightenment, and nothing more.
The Concepts of Women Education, Saving Girl Child, Mid-day Meals in schools for Backward Children, Scholarships for poor and needy students may sound like concepts being introduced by some government at a particular time but they were all introduced by her, cause for her if you are women and you're educated and healthy you would make a whole generation ahead of yours educated and nurtured.
Today, On her 190th Birth Anniversary, I Bow Down to and Thank her for all she did, so that today I could convey my thoughts to all of you.
"स्वाभिमान से जीने के लिए पढ़ाई करो, पाठशाला ही इंसान का सच्चा गहना है।" सावित्री बाई फुले।
IF YOU ARE A GIRL AND YOU COULD READ THIS, THANK HER.
I sit on the viridescent grass under the sky at night, Illuminate just a little By the constellations of stars That I've deciphered Onto the black canvas That had held before Tinges of black and blue only.
I've always craved to daub the sky, With those colours that my heart Chooses to bleed. But all I could save was Gyrates of silver, drops of pearl white And shades of celestial blue.
I spun the star string With uttermost elegance and delicacy Fearing the chagrin of Athena. As had Arachne, Her shouts and terror played before my eyes, But slowly they faded away. Eclipsed by beauty, I concocted my own essence.
My perishable hands failed to darn The fabric of celestial bodies but "We are celestial beings.", Someone once told me this . So I allowed my own stardust Flow into it with ease.
Paradigm I wove With softness that's not mine And sprinkled into them life With what was left of my whole.
Once I was done with it, I wrapped the angelic veil, Beaded with the string of Orion Onto the black space of the cosmic sky. And the universe discerned art Oozing out of my veins. But no single homosapien spared a glance. Not a single praise tickled my ears And the sonorous silence clawed at my heart. But I wouldn't let that be.
The euphony my soul warbled Cuddled deep in the milky way of my creation. Too messy to make out If all I did was disburse random symphonies. Or my messed up tiny heart Had pondered for aeons To present the orchestra my eyes saw unfold.
But none of them mattered Because the universe of my creation Was silent no more.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------- Perhaps the last post of 2k20 Happy new year in advance to all of you ❤