a_messy_perfection_

a.messy.sometimes.perfectionist

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  • a_messy_perfection_ 1w

    When I clearly see the moon on a full moon night, I wish I could embrace it in its entirety. The hidden side of the moon where the scars are a shade darker.

    When the afternoon sun is shaded in the hues of our spectacles or glasses, no chirping sounds cuter than the thought of a locked up room and being too weak in the knees, the land is no more a stable ground but is rather a wobbling moss of insecurities I try swamping every minute. It's then I know my shadow is more genuine than the skeleton walking in this frame of skin as me.

    It's almost dawn and I am not yet done plucking the wishing hair from my eyelashes, hoping that atleast one might help me sharpen my sword of hope and let me walk amidst the demonic night of thoughts. Hope is letting me make a wish but feeling numb is the realization that I'm doing it since eternity and none turns true.

    It doesn't matter whether I'm facing the sun or the silhouettes, the only thing that floats in front of me is memories glazed with a tinge of pungency. I thought they might be wine that grows exotic and smooth with time but they turned out to be a lump in my throat. I am not sure if I am tired of suffocation or have I accepted it as a part of this being. I just know that the words inside me are now dumb enough to burst out in silence, unknown.

    It's pretty cold outside but doesn't matter. My bones are burning with the heat caused by clashing thoughts, time and again like a tornado that grows with every completed swirl. I'm happy though. The old bones has a lot stored in it. Ashes are unlike pieces that can be glued together, they simply take a new form. I'll start all over again.

    (darkness and hope coexisting, possible?)

    ©a_messy_perfection_

  • a_messy_perfection_ 1w

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  • a_messy_perfection_ 5w

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  • a_messy_perfection_ 5w

    Canon ball
    Fire!
    The trigger
    Pulled
    I float in the abyss
    Sky? Water? Don't know
    It's buoyant
    I don't stay up in a good breath
    I don't drown in the depths
    Too heavy
    Too empty
    I float
    Stardust shimmers
    All at unrest,
    My hands caused the disturbance while searching for a way out
    To burst out of the clusters
    Of lumps choking my throat
    Of unsaid words
    Of avoided thoughts
    Of the many times I rejected listening to arguments of mind and heart
    Of the feelings unsettled
    Of the silence
    Of breath
    Of past
    And of the messy strings
    I'm still hooked!
    The cliff is near
    It's dark, it's void
    It's space
    Death
    I float
    Backwards
    The trigger? Vanished!
    It's gone
    But me
    I'm here
    Here now
    I'm here...

    ©a_messy_perfection_

  • a_messy_perfection_ 6w

    Tumhari aadat oss ki baarish si thi
    Kab bheeg gayi pata hi nahi chala...

    ©a_messy_perfection_

  • a_messy_perfection_ 6w

    I laugh hard at the silliest jokes with family. My friends wonder what makes me so happy that my giggles feel prettier than theirs, they envy me and I envy the part of me that shows up in a social circle. There is this sudden change in expressions, the curve straightens immediately as the doors close and the inner voices seem to quarrel pathetically. I listen to music on the loudest possible volume.

    I sit by the balcony at night irrespective of the presence of moon and stars. I adore the dark sky and assume that the stars are masters at hide and seek, you see, they have a team of clouds for help. The whispers fade in the air that's getting dense with every breath. I guess it's used to carry only specific amounts of pain at a time. The city lights and me both share a silence which we know will fade at dawn anyway.

    The videos keep playing as per the wishlist, but my chortles don't match with the running subtitles. I guess I have a bad timing, I say and keep staring at the screen till I see pauses narrating a different story, we share the same levels of secrecy I guess.

    The mirror is the new definition of change, because I don't see the same reflection everyday. The gap between the touching finger, that's enough to fit what I feel. I never look in the eyes because I end up getting bruise in the soul when slapped with the unfamiliar mix of storms yearning to get unleashed. They are kids who don't understand what's necessary for their safety. Silly soul!

    The raindrop is noisy when hitting concrete but silent when it hits the ground, it's said that longing ends silently. Now I know why the raindrop reaching my cheeks fall so silently, I await its embrace.

    Tears can be heard too. Sometimes in sobs, many times disguised in laughter. But it's at a decibel audible to a superhuman who can shun the whirling chaos within them. They do exist, but I think they are as endangered as the kindness.

    ©a_messy_perfection_

  • a_messy_perfection_ 9w

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  • a_messy_perfection_ 10w

    Distances fade when hearts decide to cross the barriers of reality
    They carve magic out of feelings and sprinkle the souls with love,
    Always...

    ©a_messy_perfection_

  • a_messy_perfection_ 10w

    It's the toughest to keep a good heart alive.
    It's fragile, too delicate to turn into a diamond in pressure, it shatters,
    It will always stay strong behind walls of your worth
    Keep it safe, it's precious
    The worth of a good heart is second to none.

    ©a_messy_perfection_

  • a_messy_perfection_ 10w

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