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  • abbu1030 30w


    Is it possible to bring them back? Those who left us to early because of words and actions that hurt them. Those killed just seeking safety. those killed in the middle of gang rivals just trying to help there family. Those killed by drugs and alcohol.
    Is it possible for us to one day rebuild this world into something meaningful. A place with fresh air and clean water. A place where you won't be killed no matter what color, or what gander you are or how you think. Is it possible to just love yourself and at least try to understand other people

  • abbu1030 31w


    I often think about you, I always have you in my head but never in my arms. I wish I could show you my soul and be able to see yours so we could have a deeper connection. I wish I wasn't so scared to love you. I know without you I'd be so alone, I have nobody else but you. you make me feel safe in the nights when the medicine takes ever and I'm finally feel numb, at times I feel like being numb all the time. Its definitely better then feeling all the pain. Lately everything hurt but with you i don't need to be numb, you take the pain away. They say I can't love you without loving myself first, I know they're all wrong. Loving you is like putting all the love I couldn't give myself using it for something better. Because I want you to know I love you even tho I'm so scared of losing you. You'd always be the one I'd give this love to

  • abbu1030 35w

    Without you here

    Without you here I offten feel numb. Without you nothing really matters to me. I wish I could change how much I depend on you but sometimes I just need someone there to tell me its okay to tell me everything will be okay. Without you here I start to lose hope because this fear of losing you to my mistakes while your gone destroys me

  • abbu1030 37w


    When I lay alone in your shirt. I ask myself, where are you? that's when I start to think, thinking is always bad. You'll probably never be able to understand what's going on inside my head, most the time I don't understand it myself. Sometimes I feel my problems are never really problems. I wonder why life can be so good but I will only see the bad. Sometimes I ask myself, where am i? I'm alone in a dark room, looking at these lines that seem to keep adding up and I can't seem to stop. If I drown here in this ocean of fear. sing me a sweet song. A song that in life would make me cry but not because it was sad but because of its beauty. Something that will put me to peace when I'm gone. Even though I have never believed in a god I prayed for you to be happy. I decided I'd prayed to anyone out there for your happiness but never my own because in life I lived for you but in death I swear I'll life for myself..

  • abbu1030 38w


    when I lay with you I often think about my past because in your arms i know if I start to cry I'll be safe
    In your arms I think about this future we may or may not have, but your the reason i believe in change.
    Without you in my life now It probably would be really hard for me to here without you I'd be alone.
    I wish I could change my mindset to be more positive instead of always thinking about death but how could i not think about it when its what's happening so often.
    And of course it Always happens to someone who don't deserves it like a little girl who was to young to understand who just wanted to be in her familys arms again. the young man who was shot in Arizona because of gang violence. The young girl who just wanted to go home and who will never graduate because of drunk driving.
    Because our world has changed through worst to better back to worst

  • abbu1030 38w


    Somewhere he's laying down under the same stars as her but not together.
    Somewhere there's a girl wishing to be by his side. Hoping maybe he could silence her demons.
    Somewhere there's a guy wishing he could be next to her. Hoping he could silence her pain and stop her from crying.
    Somewhere there's a dark cloud that holds over the minds of those who have felt pain and been abandoned.
    Somewhere there's some kind of hope though right??
    Somewhere along the line things will change and the clouds will clear, right?
    Somewhere in the future we won't lay under the same stars but alone, right??

  • abbu1030 38w


    I looked up and I saw myself in the mirror but I know for a fact there has never been one here before. I look around and realize i haven't been here before, where am I? I feel like I know this place but cant seem to remember how or even where it was, where I was. I look back into the mirror but I no longer see myself I see who I once was but can no longer be, sweet and harmless beautiful and young. Maybe if I could see what life had for me I'd be able to let go of the ways I was hurt of the ways you hurt me. If I was able to realize then what you were really doing maybe i could stop you, maybe if you realized then that those pills would ruin everything maybe you wouldn't have taken them or maybe I'm just telling myself that hoping it would make me feel better about you leaving me for them