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  • aditi_choudhury 2d

    You are my favourite feeling...

    It was almost 10 pm....we didn't realize how from deciding the best sandwich in the cafe to telling the embarrassing story about the scar on my elbow...it went for like 6 hours straight...

    The moment I saw him..I was like this date wont last for more than hour...
    When we met I started with "dude ! Just have this chicken salami sandwich..and thank me later..."
    He was like "firstly hello"!
    I felt so like an idiot..and stood up for a hug..as usual it went awkward..thought to settle for finishing the sandwich...
    "Listen! I know I ordered..because i have been coming to this cafe since lockdown..and trust me..you will love this...
    He said-I guess you should have tried grilled chicken cheesy sandwich!its the best...
    And then its just went on ..and then there was this comforting feeling with him...It was like you could be completely yourself..plus he was cute too..

    The cafe was about to close...and then I said
    Its too late..I need to go home..great time anyways.
    I will walk you home..if you are okay?-he said
    Yeah sure..
    We walked for like 1 km under the empty road in streetlights....I did not realize we were holding hands until now...and the more he was talking..the more adorable he was..so was I desparate to tell him that or the timid smile of his...may be that would be cringey..so I saved it for the last...
    And then we reached the gate..he was not still finished with his story..when i interrupted "we reached".
    I guess Thats it!"-He said..
    And then I gave him a tight hug..this moment when we were wrapped in eachother's arms,it felt like home,like one of my favorite feelings..I didn't want this to end..the evening just flashed in a sec and then feeling how better this day is than yesterday I have felt empty and wrecked over my breakup..
    I could smell his perfume so closely now,my fingers slipped into his brownish soft hair...after a deep sigh and a brief stare we kissed..I could still feel his breaths against my face...it was just beyond words,the moment
    Byeee...and then he kissed my cheek...
    Thursday 5:30 pm at biggies..I said.
    So there's a next time!
    Hopefully !
    Bdw..Thursday 7 am for malai chai and sandwich? And you know where!
    I ll be there...
    ©aditi_choudhury

  • aditi_choudhury 1w

    Admist the indistinct noises around me,
    I wish to be an ocean and flow like waves of endless peaceful and wildfree chords..
    Where the sunset drowns in me and then rises back..

    I could be a waterdrop yet reflecting the complete moon..
    Or I could fill in me the calm breeze or the horrendous rage of disasters..

    I continue to flow infinitely,
    When You thought shore is my endpoint...
    ©aditi_choudhury

  • aditi_choudhury 2w

    She is the one ...

    She is the one you never saw coming,at the most unexpected time and then things start falling at right place..she could suprise you how she is so calm and peace you down..you get slowly addicted to her thoughts and the way she starts making you feel about yourself...she becomes your best friend with whom you can share everything and then may be your soulmate too...

    You feel the urge when she tells you the ways she wants to touch you..she wants to take it all in,all of your passion,rage,intense..you want more of her..

    She is going to turn away when she catches you staring at her little longer..she may not be always great at understanding you but she wants all these little things like slow dancing in the kitchen while you cook for her,suprising you,wanting your attention,tell you how wonderful you are to her with letters and poems..

    she wants to love you even more,leaving midnight kisses while you are sleeping or being in your difficult times or wanting to know each and every scar you have hidden in you..she would open up to u..

    All you have to do is love her or most importantly make her believe that she could trust you no matter how hard things get...you are going make up to her..
    ©aditi_choudhury

  • aditi_choudhury 2w

    The way we were,is what love is to me..

    The way we were,is what love meant to me..
    I wanted to give every inch of mine for you to love..
    The feeling is all..like That's what I always needed..
    The rush,the peace,the adventure..
    It's funny how you start seeing all your happinesss,and Everything else dissolves whence that one person comes in and replaces the universe to you but then it turns out unrequited..its worse..

    I wanted to tell you things I never have to anyone,even my utmost vulnerabilities..I had tucked my loudest feelings inside me and before I could express,
    You were gone..just like that..

    You wrote me poetries,made me promises that you don't even remember now..And I remember the things that's worthless now..I remember loving you and wanting to love you even more when you were exhausted of yourself..

    We started way too late,communicating..
    You don't understand how much I wanted being in love with you..I can't think of anybody else and maybe I just dont want to..I wish the voice in my head just knew hating you when you didn't call..

    Sure you have come back all the way,apologizing
    I wish holding you tight and saying it all once
    But I know you would make me feel undeserved again
    And Now when none of you can ever happen..
    Its the hardest..

    ©aditi_choudhury

  • aditi_choudhury 3w

    Dearest lover,

    Its been 6 months 4 days we broke up and I am still not able to picture myself with anyone else except you..not that I will disturb you and ask you to get back together..

    I don't know if you have these familar feelings but for once I want us to be in those moments my gallery is filled with...may be it's impossible but I just want to take you again to worst rated movies and turn you on in those empty movie halls..or would want you to stop in the middle of the highway and ask you everything I am craving for..I would love to sneak in and make your boring day as you want...
    I want to write poems about you or erotic paragraphs on some artsy picture or sorry letters for forgetting our date..Wrap around you in the couch all tired humming our favorite song or send you those vacation pictures of bloggers and make you imagine how would it be if we were together or send you random texts or calls and plan my whole happening life that night..

    In short I want us to feel like we are in love and were always,never gave up on each other and want us to be the omgg they are still together type couple...may be not too much to expect since we last met..Right?

    ©aditi_choudhury

  • aditi_choudhury 3w

    Dearest lover,

    Its been 6 months 4 days we broke up and I am still not able to picture myself with anyone else except you..not that I will disturb you and ask you to get back together..I still watch you reading those poetries in the library and I wish I could just just drag a chair and both of us read them together with coffee..end up somewhere in that small corner of library,grabbing each other into that familar rush,in love,in passion or may be rage but exactly like we both want to be felt...

    I don't know if you have these familar feelings but for once I want us to be in those moments my gallery is filled with...may be it's impossible but I just want to take you again to worst rated movies and turn you on in those empty movie halls..or would want you to stop in the middle of the highway and ask you everything I am craving for..I would love to sneak in and make your boring day as you want...I want to write poems about you or erotic paragraphs on some artsy picture or sorry letters for forgetting our date..
    Wrap around you in the couch all tired humming our favorite song or send you those vacation pictures of bloggers and make you imagine how would it be if we were together or send you random texts or calls and plan my whole happening life that night..

    In short I want us to feel like we are in love and were always,never gave up on each other and want us to be the omgg they are still together couple...may be not too much to expect since we last met..Right?
    ©aditi_choudhury

  • aditi_choudhury 5w

    Emotional baggage..

    You will come across this point when you feel your soul is tired and your heart being held wrongly and now you are so tired of explaining..you ache a lot about the old days but now you know the emotional baggage is hurting your spines,tearing you apart and now you accept that you need to walk away for your ownself..

    Each time you tried loving them more,they showed you how hard you were to love...you were given lies for your efforts and there is this point when you are blank..you are helpless and in pain because you have no idea what happens next..you are just fighting in darkness without understanding you yourself is the light to all this..

    You blame,you expect forgiveness,answers to the endless musings and conflicts in your mind..but with time you understand you dont need this validation from someone who was not capable of loving you..I wont say you move on but you try to mend your heart and give your love it always deserved..

    May be you fall in love with a real one in sometime or years...but now all you care is you and now you know you want someone who would love you the way you would before letting yourself to the same hurting..the baggage gets lighter with time as you know that love is easier unlike your past..
    ©aditi_choudhury

  • aditi_choudhury 8w

    Remember that rainy afternoon !

    It was a rainy afternoon and I was sharing a ola cab with a guy and my big baby bump struck in a huge traffic..I was heading to my first date since the news I am pregnant and my fiance dumped me,wearing a long loose off shoulder gown with loose hair and my favourite lipstick ...

    He messaged that it was impossible to meet today..It was really disappointing and i said it-motherfucker cancelled the date!!
    The man beside me asked -excuse me!?Are you okay? Need something?"..I was like "It was my first time in last 5 months I was somewhere other than the scans or hospital appointments...
    He Opened the windowsills and i smelled hot aloo tikki chat,jalebis and tandoori chai stalls...I was already drooling and said fuck ! Damn the smelll!..
    He asked-so what do you want?
    I was like-umm..everything..I am craving for all!
    He was like bhaiyaaa ji and the vendor came ..and then we ordered..and damn the taste...
    I asked him-why wont he take money? Do you know this place pehle se?
    He said yeah from same place...
    And then from the next moment we talked about our favourite places or food joints or how rain is a important part in every Bollywood movie,when heroine is dancing with her saree swaying in slow motion...his terrible first dates or I was planned to explore streets of jodhpur or the pristine beaches with my ex and here i am sitting with this big bump with a cancelled date...
    You are not having a bad time either?-He said..
    I was like "yeah..with a stranger who has not said his name yet.." oh sorry!..its vivan.
    Samaira here!
    I have had 2 plates of jalebis and alootikis by then and he was still struggling with his first one..sweet tooth huh? I asked..he smiled away and looked away until when I offered him a chocolate brownie and he started gulping it whole..I couldn't stop laughing and when he said it is yum!
    I then saidand how I wanted to propose my fiance in a romantic city while it raining or he wanted a long ride with his love on his bike...and then out of nowhere,
    there was a glance where the moment seemed so perfect and infinite and brief...until the driver said -mam your destination!
    He said -bye take care!
    I said-"meet you near that vendor then!
    He-"when?
    I - "bye!

  • aditi_choudhury 8w

    I can't let go of you!

    May be I miss you and I miss you a lot..
    I miss when you used you to tuck my hair behind my ears and stare at me with that look of yours or when you used to take my hand out of nowhere while am blabbering and kissing it..or when you used to take me out to discover new places or make me watch your stupid romantic movies..your annoying cheesy lines or make my buzzy head fall asleep with your lame jokes..I miss it all...

    May be,you have your reasons to leave..I was looking for a closure first..So that I could say you a goodbye..With all my heart and let go of you..But Now at this very moment,I still love you,I do inspite of all..I want us to stick together and want you to come back and say"thats it stop being stupid...you are going nowhere..I have always loved you and will always !"

    Its not easy to have these feelings for someone else nor I want anyoneelse..I am watching your favourite movies and I cant stop picturing us..And you are a fucking dumbass for not understanding any of this..


    Sometimes I feel like untangling everything and start from where we began..We fall in love once again,little more than last time..go back to those streets where we ate our first icecream or the park where we sat hours talking or write letters to eachother or pen poems or sing songs aloud at 2am and most importantly hear each other out...lets fall in love again!
    Because you are irreplaceable!
    ©aditi_choudhury

  • aditi_choudhury 8w

    To my ex lover,
    Whom I can't let go of..


    May be I miss you and I miss you a lot..
    I miss when you used you to tuck my hair behind my ears and stare at me with that look of yours or when you used to take my hand out of nowhere while am blabbering and kissing it..or when you used to take me out to discover new places or make me watch your stupid romantic movies..your annoying cheesy lines or make my buzzy head fall asleep with your lame jokes..I miss it all...

    May be,you have your reasons to leave..I was looking for a closure first..So that I could say you a goodbye..With all my heart and let go of you..But Now at this very moment,I still love you,I do inspite of all..I want us to stick together and want you to come back and say"thats it stop being stupid...you are going nowhere..I have always loved you and will always !"

    Its not easy to have these feelings for someone else nor I want anyoneelse..I am watching your favourite movies and I cant stop picturing us..And you are a fucking dumbass for not understanding any of this..
    May be you have moved so ahead of all this or may be you haven't too..Lets give us a one more chance?

    Sometimes I feel like untangling everything and start from where we began..We fall in love once again,little more than last time..go back to those streets where we ate our first icecream or the park where we sat hours talking or write letters to eachother or pen poems or sing songs aloud at 2am and most importantly hear each other out...lets fall in love again!
    Because you are irreplaceable
    ©aditi_choudhury