still exploring myself

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  • ahsila 2w


    Part of me wants to be better me
    Other part wants to be at worst
    Things I want to pursue things I want for myself
    Then I am stumbled about the point of all of this
    Part of me wants to bear this hardships and pain
    Other one just doesn't care
    Wanting to be better, wanting to be acceptable
    It's too hard than I ever imagined
    But at end, why does it matter ?
    Part of me is scared of the things I am going through,the fears I am holding behind
    Other part just want to end this all.

  • ahsila 11w


    Let us take a moment of appreciation for the struggle you are facing bravely
    Slowly a step endeavoring all your insecurities
    An appreciation for how tough you were even the situations were not even in your control
    The moment for the lessons you have learned at the end of the day
    Facing all of the flaws to be flawless
    Accepting that you are what you are
    And the beauty you seek outside
    is in you
    You just have to dig it deeper and deeper
    And soon you will get what you want
    A peace of mind and happiness from inside

  • ahsila 11w


    Pretty much messed up
    Pretty much handling myself
    On the delusion of the world
    Uncertainty of situations
    Finding myself courage
    Hope i could see the
    Stars beneath the sky one day

  • ahsila 12w

    Your dreams

    Hold fast to your dreams
    Or else someone's going to steal it
    The only gem which you dig

    Hold fast to your dreams
    The dreams superior than reality
    Keeping ease to your mentality
    Don't leave it
    Stay strong and believe and one day
    You are going to achieve it

  • ahsila 12w


    Here I am again
    Complaining in my mind
    About the things I can't change
    Not being able to let go
    Oh no no, it's not about my lover
    This is about myself
    The things I go through everyday
    The hardships I do to make me smile
    The constant assurance to fight my self doubt
    Fetching ways to find my peace
    All these overthinkings are drawing into the darker place
    Not knowing where to stand
    I am crumbling all over again
    Inspite of trying to stand
    I am falling out alone again.

  • ahsila 12w

    #strangers#support from strangers

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    Hey y'all strangers

    You were there when no one else was
    You listened to my feelings
    You didn't judge me for who I was and what I have done
    Whenever I needed I could always share my words with you
    The love you have shown me
    I am very much grateful for
    I always felt a relief in my chest
    Whenever I talked to you
    Far from the judgments and inflated society
    I rest beside you
    Although you may not know me or I don't know you
    The gesture you have shown for me is the one
    I can't describe in my words
    The little love you have shown me
    I am very much grateful for

    A big appreciation to the mirakee strangers

  • ahsila 13w

    Happiness in my word

    Does being beautiful makes you happy ?
    Does having a pretty face makes you happy ?
    Does having a rich lifestyle makes you happy ?
    Does having more friends make you happy ?
    What is the happiness we are searching for ?
    All our life we have been searching for it
    They say happiness is in you
    They say happiness is in small things
    Deep down I know it's true
    But it's too hard to accept in real life
    Where having a good social life is life standard
    Where money is the new truth
    And I find myself in this mess not knowing where to go
    Stucked here in my own darkness
    Pushed by overwhelming thoughts of myself and society
    The time is ticking too fast and I sit here with my mess unable to watch myself
    The fears sparks within me and have burst into flames
    I fear to never find myself
    Wandering with my thoughts
    I still can't figure out what is happiness for me
    But when I share my sadness through writing
    The relief I feel
    Is it the feeling of happiness ??

  • ahsila 14w

    The moment I
    Learned to endure my aloneness
    I became free

  • ahsila 16w

    My mess

    I feel I am not enough
    Indulging in my own mess
    I got no energy to fake a smile
    all I wanted was to be heard
    by someone someday
    Keeping my hopes up
    I walk everyday
    But I know I am
    Invisible from the world
    I now knew no value of my
    I guess I am lost here
    Unseen unheard and uncared.

  • ahsila 16w

    Overwhelming thoughts

    Maybe all we wanted was a true warm connection
    for all these years
    a person we can crawl up to
    a person for us to love to
    Inspite of what we were
    The one that holds tight
    No matter what
    But, the reality of life seems to be detached from our imagination
    Everyday hurting ourself
    Everyday visiting painful wound
    Sucked upon in the emotional distress
    When can I be myself?
    The flaws,the insecurities,the imperfections
    I hold
    When will those going to be lost ?
    I woke up everyday in this senseless life
    only to know my weaker self all again.