alivebutami

allpoetry.com/Alive%20but%20am%20I

Someone like you.A place for tears, fears, thoughts, a source of hope, beliefs, encouragement, love, respect.And a Place to Relate! Insta:Alivebutami

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  • alivebutami 14w

    Masks

    A mask for Sunday
    A mask for the week
    A mask for Monday
    And another for the after that
    A mask for your family
    A mask for particular friends
    A mask for when we feel ugly
    And a mask for when we are mad
    It's not that easy
    But it's not that hard
    We have to live up to standards
    Either ours of someone we don't even know
    We have to be someone else to different people
    We have to live like we are perfect
    To every single human being
    When will we stop masking out pain
    And realize that we are all hidding

  • alivebutami 16w

    Dark, deep, empty, void

    Dark,
    deep,
    empty,
    void
    Light flooding in
    But only hear noise.
    A world, you could've, never imagined.
    A place, somehow, darker than black magic.
    Dark,
    Deep,
    Empty,
    Void
    Still screaming out
    But, can't hear the noise.
    Blinded by screams, louder than your own.
    A place, nobody ever, imagined they'd roam.
    Dark,
    Deep,
    Empty,
    Void
    A cruel, cruel, world
    But it doesn't have to, be mine or yours.
    A place of hope and place of peace.
    Are not found inside of you or me.
    He we help us escape the,
    Dark,
    Deep,
    Empty,
    Void
    A place nobody ever wanted to roam.
    A place, darker, than forever.
    And let us live blind never
    In a place where noone will scream forever.

  • alivebutami 16w

    Dark, deep, empty, void

    Dark,
    deep,
    empty,
    void
    Light flooding in
    But only hear noise.
    A world, you could've, never imagined.
    A place, somehow, darker than black magic.
    Dark,
    Deep,
    Empty,
    Void
    Still screaming out
    But, can't hear the noise.
    Blinded by screams, louder than your own.
    A place, nobody ever, imagined they'd roam.
    Dark,
    Deep,
    Empty,
    Void
    A cruel, cruel, world
    But it doesn't have to, be mine or yours.
    A place of hope and place of peace.
    Are not found inside of you or me.
    He we help us escape the,
    Dark,
    Deep,
    Empty,
    Void
    A place nobody ever wanted to roam.
    A place, darker, than forever.
    And let us live blind never
    In a place where noone will scream forever.

  • alivebutami 17w

    My Secret Part 2
    Part 3 to follow
    Sorry for the delay in posting but I hope you connect.

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    My Secret Pt. 2

    What do I do when I hate what I do?
    When I want almost nothing more than to be rid of that part of myself.
    How do I take out the bad from my life and do sergery on it?
    Where is the knife?
    Where is the knife?
    Is it for slitting my wrists or shutting a door?
    Come on sit still!
    Come on sit still!
    I hate that I still have so many doubts.
    And I can't sit still now.
    I have a secret.

  • alivebutami 18w

    This piece was very hard for me to write because of the realness and openness to share my struggles with others. And I know many have their own opinions on things such as this but I believe it is wrong. In my heart I know it is wrong. " I didn't like that I did it but I did it anyways". I was being selfish and that is a huge part in why it is wrong.

    Stay tuned for part 2

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    My Secret Pt. 1

    My secret is one that not many know.
    I think it is actually one measly soul.
    Who knows the secret inside of me.
    This secret I've been grasping onto for eternity.
    It all started way back when.
    Not sure exactly the moment on when it pleged me.
    But it happened either way,
    even if you don't believe me.
    I had this thing that I struggled with.
    I wondered if something was wrong with me.
    If I was weird and horribly gross.
    I didn't like that I did it
    But I did it anyways.
    I struggle with this thing called masturbation.
    Now you might wonder exactly what that means
    And wonder what's so wrong about it.
    You wonder if it is so bad why I still do it.
    And I wonder if I can't get over it if I'm ever human.
    Next I struggle with feeling alone and imperfect.
    I know noone is supposed to be perfect
    but it sometimes feels like I should be.
    Which brings me back to my poem
    about the pressure of myself.
    And I wonder if I'll ever let go and let God truly in.
    Into every part of my life.

  • alivebutami 19w

    Human or Robot

    Am I human or a robot?
    Do I breathe in air or is it useless?
    Am I made of metal and wires?
    Or am I a human being?
    Am I the same as everyone else or am I different?
    Am I a human if I'm the same as everyone else?
    Or does that make me a robot?
    But don't humans want us to all be the same?
    But then they want us to embrace our differences.
    They want us to love everyone.
    And accept all the wrong or 'right' stuff they do.
    We're supposed to be different.
    But then we're supposed to be the same.
    So are we human or robots?
    Are we alive or just programmed,
    For a life that we never choose but then we did.

  • alivebutami 19w

    Your cologne left on my clothes,
    From the sweeter I borrowed
    On a cold summer day

  • alivebutami 19w

    ~You realize what your in for~

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    An Illusion Of The Mind

    An illusion of mind is what I see.
    When I look at the door and all of it's mixed reality.
    This picture describes something many can not depict.
    This picture is kind of confusing.
    This picture is of something some can see
    And others just can't.
    It tells a story if you really look at it.
    Yes it shows an open door.
    The things behind the door look as though they are what beyond the door contains.
    It might sound odd if you think about it.
    But at first the door seems to be promising something.
    It seems to telling you that through it happiness will come.
    It seems to be good and a great way of escape.
    But this door is evil and nothing good comes from it.
    The surroundings of the doorway are bleak colours.
    But the colours inside of it aren't much different.
    The moon and mountains seen to be promising hope.
    And the tree makes a good surrounding.
    But the truth is that there is no hope if you go through that door.
    Only pain can come after,
    you realize what your in for.

  • alivebutami 20w

    ~My smashed door together~

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    Smashed Door

    How can I live like this?
    How can I not slam the door?
    How can I walk around pretending
    It's my life not yours?
    How can I laugh and cry
    But still act fine?
    How can I live behind something,
    when I'm the one who choose
    to make it mine?
    How can I live my life seemingly great
    But still hurt and have the similar pain?
    How can I live pretending
    I have it all together?
    When only God can glue
    my smashed door together.

  • alivebutami 20w

    ~ Don't paint smiles on your sadness ~

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    Why?

    Why do you hurt?
    Why do you cry?
    Why do you wish that you would die?

    Why do you love?
    Why do you have pain?
    Why do you wish all these feelings would go away?

    Why do you cry?
    Why do you laugh?
    Why do you feel like there’s nothing left?

    Why do you hold all you have?
    And throw it away, just like that.

    Why do you cry?
    Why do you live?
    Why do you die?
    Why do you breathe?
    Why do you choose to live the life you don’t want for yourself?

    Because yes, life is a choice you made.
    Not just something you’ll regret.
    Make it something that you want.
    Not just something that you hate.
    Make life something great.
    Not just something to humiliate.

    Make life about good time
    and not just the bad.
    Make them about happiness and joy.
    Not just sadness and being depressed.
    Be happy and chose life.
    Don’t just sit there in silence.
    But, don’t mask your sadness either.
    Don’t paint smiles on your sadness.

    You can do better.
    You don’t have to have this life that you’ve made for yourself.
    You can do better.