americanidiot

youtu.be/5aVtXtjXMIA

i'm so tired of everything. can i leave this mess yet?

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  • americanidiot 4w

    I remember

    i remember the laughter,
    i remember the sun,
    i remember the medals and
    i remember the runs
    i remember the heavy breathing
    i remember the meets
    i remember the oranges
    i remember the glances
    i remember the smiles
    i remember the 'i love you's whispered in the wind
    i remember the wins.
    i remember you.
    ©americanidiot

  • americanidiot 7w

    You always smile
    like you're about to cry
    what's going on inside that mind?
    you always ask, but never tell
    you're afraid you're weak
    i cry for you once a week
    let me be your sanctuary
    let me inside of your mind,
    i promise i can take it,
    so i ask:
    why do you always smile
    like you're about to cry?
    ©americanidiot

  • americanidiot 8w

    guilt lays heavy in the air
    and you wonder why nobody else is there
    you wonder why nobody else cares
    you wonder why they want you out of their hair
    because of all the lies
    they've given too many tries
    they've tried everything they could think of,
    yet that wasn't enough
    so now they just sit in silent and watch you fuck your life up
    this is when you realize the disappointment
    your dissatisfaction has fucked their lives up
    now the guilt is tearing you apart
    but you're waist deep in shit,
    and there's no turning back now
    yet you still go on!
    you put on a mask and act like nothing's your fault!
    but i know, eventually that'll bite you in the ass
    because i believe in karma
    and i'll wait for your chance
    ©americanidiot

  • americanidiot 9w

    Famine

    I gave all i had
    and it hasn't came back yet
    what's the point
    there's a drought
    a famine
    in my mind
    nothing left to give
    teach me to take
    but what's the point of taking
    there's nothing i can do
    what would i do with it
    it would sit in the back of my mind
    bother me and bother me until i pull the trigger
    i want my head to be full of thoughts
    if not then my head starts to wander
    but i need the right thoughts
    because if not then my head jumps to conclusions
    i want to be dead immediately
    i wish i was a good person
    i don't know how
    i try so hard but they're always unhappy
    want more and more
    it's a tug of war on my sanity
    take more and i'll lose grasp
    i'll lose the game, lose my grasp
    where's the reward?
    whats the point?
    where's the fucking reward?
    ©americanidiot

  • americanidiot 12w

    one for sorrow

    two for mirth

    three for a wedding

    and four for a birth

    five for silver

    six for gold

    and seven for a secret never to be told

  • americanidiot 14w

    Time

    passes by
    like seasons fly
    we don't notice
    the little changes
    our skin,
    the leaves,
    the temperature slowly sinking.
    we try to savor each moment,
    but it goes by so fast.
    days blend together
    like sand in an hourglass.
    my task for you
    today, it seems so blue
    but i want you to
    notice those things too
    because we live too fast
    like every day is our last
    but if you live like that,
    you'll never know true happiness.
    savor your days
    in the smallest ways
    and maybe we'll be able to say,
    "i'm glad i stayed."
    ©americanidiot

  • americanidiot 16w

    i'll be gone

    one day
    i'll be nothing but bones
    i'll be a name on a stone
    bones in a graveyard
    no one will know my name
    or what i've done
    i'll be forgotten
    i'll be gone

    we'll all be gone one day
    with nothing to do
    ashes in dirt
    or bones lay still
    we'll be forgotten
    just another name
    once in awhile
    a family member will come
    but once they're gone
    it'll all be done

    we're just rotting away
    in this sad little place
    we'll all be gone
    forgotten and wronged
    good day to you, just a pile of bones
    we'll all be gone,
    we'll all be gone.
    ©americanidiot

  • americanidiot 16w

    i'll live to defy you

    i'm happy
    i'm content
    i will punch you in your fucking face if you cross me again
    you're such a bitch
    i don't deserve to die
    you're just looking for reasons to make me feel bad about myself
    so you look to tell lies
    that's so fucking dumb
    and you don't know the whole story
    months after i quit talking to you,
    this is when you begin?
    i don't give two flying shits about you
    just leave me the fuck alone
    i won't kill myself
    just for you
    i despise you
    and everything you do
    you're such a fucking child.
    just give up,
    i'm a narcissist,
    you can't beat me.
    ©americanidiot

  • americanidiot 17w

    School

    knee high socks
    on your feet
    have carried you through
    every defeat
    summer is here
    school is gone
    it's such a pity
    that you were wrong
    the thoughts will come
    with nothing to do
    how will you cope
    when you have no hope?
    it's just three months,
    your parents are cunts
    your brother is abusive
    to you, that's exclusive.
    i don't mean to be intrusive
    at least your room is reclusive
    and you can relax
    with no fears in sight
    until mommy and daddy
    get into a fight
    and they start to yell
    your ears ring like a bell
    it's okay, it'll go away now
    run to your room
    little girl i promise to you
    three months isn't forever
    then you can go back to school
    and pretend you're okay
    for the people and things they say
    keep your mind off of things today
    as you run out of time
    and the bell begins to chime
    you step onto the bus
    and then school is officially done.
    ©americanidiot

  • americanidiot 17w

    Pain killers

    Searching for that euphoric high
    Watch the clock on my bedside tick by
    Downed a bottle in just two nights
    Littered pill bottles in dim lights

    Snort the pills again and again
    Feel life slip as the night would end
    Fall onto the bed and sigh in relief
    Out of pills, groan in disbelief

    I can't handle the withdrawals
    Mommy taught me no morals at all
    Faked my pain for the naproxen
    Told the doc, "This is my only option."

    An old friend called me hungover
    Told me they were worried and asked to come over
    I told them no, yet they persisted
    Eventually I gave in and no longer resisted

    We talked and I gave way
    Showed the pills I had been taking each day
    He offered his help but I declined
    Too many people have lied

    I wish for this to end
    Endless cycle left me dread
    I want out of my head
    I want out of this head
    I want to be dead

    Paid my debts and marked a date
    A date with death, I would say
    I would go out the way I lived
    In my bed with a pill in my hand

    I want to be dead
    I wish to be dead
    Left me in my head
    Just want to be dead
    ©americanidiot