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  • anjananair 1w

    Maybe, I will

    I knew this the day I met you
    The casual hugs, kisses and byes didn't tie together an entire story
    You were a story, standing in front of me
    Wanting to be unfloded, one leaf after the other
    When we looked at each other,
    What I saw was not a thousand galaxies or the far sight of nebulas making love
    I saw how you are full of your leaves that had a weird tint to it.
    A warm tint, I haven't seen before.
    The very friendly charm to every stroke on your arm didn't have answers.
    You were a body planted down as flowers.
    Blooming differently each day
    Each day, I try to pin you down
    Name you
    I still call you "flower"
    Your name never bothered me a lot
    Maybe, I'll be awake that night
    I'll witness when you plough through your mindfield as the world is sleeping
    You become a grassland and I'll throw in some dry leaves you left behind.
    Maybe, I'll cry a little
    You still didn't tell me the entire story
    You will come to me and take shapes of water
    You will engulf me, take my shape.
    Maybe, I'll miss you a lot less
    Maybe, I'll learn to not care about the story
    Maybe, I'll tell you, I never loved you.

  • anjananair 9w

    When I told you I like you,
    I meant the earth stopped spinning for a second
    I saw how the stars looked that night too
    Star is a magical word.
    When I told you I like you,
    I meant I spun magic around the stars,
    I carefully placed them in words, the magic never broke its shell
    When I told you I like you,
    I meant the moon stopped changing shapes
    This was an unusual bright and light
    When I told you I like you
    I meant I danced around the moon mountains
    Weighless as a cloud on a clear sky
    When I told you I like you
    I meant I was jumping from one cloud to another
    I was floating around in air smelling like strawberries
    When I told you I like you
    I meant I found a strawberry forest
    I named each strawberry after you, and I ate them.
    When I told you I like you
    I meant it rained that night, it's December
    All the drops sung the verse "you like him" in chorus
    When I told you I like you
    I meant I taught me to like me,
    To practice on how to like you
    When I told you I like you
    I meant the room was frozen in time
    And that it moved only for me and you
    When I told you I like you
    I meant, I am good with words, I'll untie the knots
    I know exactly what poets write about
    When I told you I like you
    You told me "I like you too"
    When I told you I like you,
    I meant everything I said and beyond
    When you told me you like me
    I stood there with a big bowl,
    I caught the stars the moon the rain and the clouds
    The earth had started spinning again,
    Magic broke its shell
    When I told you I like you, I know you liked it
    When you told me you like me,
    You meant, " I like that you like me"

    - Anjana nair

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    When I told you I like you

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  • anjananair 12w


    Theres is no night like that one,
    You lie next to me, breathing "words",
    Into my body, my flesh
    I was breathing too. In fact, I was breathing harder.
    I was breathing louder
    Why din't you want to listen?
    I loved your words.
    I made them a sweet warm necklace, around my throat
    I feel your words each time I gulp down air.
    But why did your words, break the chain?
    Why did they crumble ,form a clump?
    Why did that become a lump in my throat?
    Why is it that it aches everytime I swallow?
    Why did your words silence me?
    Why did your words stop meaning anything?
    What is that you were exactly breathing?
    What did you want to push inside me so hard?
    But if you listened,
    That night, if you took a moment
    I was breathing

  • anjananair 52w

    Am I not good enough?
    I know that flickery candles can last longer than my love for myself,
    But is that why I am not good enough?
    Is that why I drag a poem out of every wrong mouth,
    Thinking that the mouths can feast on my words instead
    Is that why the long chain of forced out words becomes the one that you'd use to tie the loose ends of your worn out bag,
    So that no one should really see it?
    Why is my chain not a fashion accessory, but merely any accessory
    Why did I wrap the chain around my heart and through my neck
    That each heartbeat would bring a deep scar along my throat
    What is it that went wrong?
    My body? You say that now
    That I don't fit into tight fit clothes of your gifted mind
    Or, I'll wear them in your demon minds, but not in reality.
    What do you know about drugs layering my body each day?
    Why is this not good enough?
    Is that because ive not let you see me inside out?
    Why is it that I feel invisible?
    Why is that my drowned self is being pushed down,
    Till I am drained of all the life
    And then, I am cold and blue?
    Yes, I am cold and blue
    And is that not good enough?

  • anjananair 95w

    What do you call it?
    What do you call the wobbly feet,walking past the air doors,
    That dissolves into cold mist
    What name do you give for the sleazy thoughts,
    Wandering picking up pebbles and stones on the street, every time you try to lay off
    What do you call the re-assuring nights,
    Knowing you lay next to a body,
    That spent each tick of the clock mouthing water words,
    Only to wake up next day seeing you slept in a glass-daisy-garden,
    Each of them looking so alike,
    Breaking in all touch of yours.
    What do you call the empty days
    You mimicing the action of one sitting next to you,
    You've forgotten the act of laughing
    Also forgotten how to stop it, only to be a bizzare person crawling around.
    What do you call the half-full days,
    You regain your memory on the lessons your mother taught you,
    "How to be a happy child",
    Also wishing you forgot them,
    Being happy can only mean,"you're crying tomorrow"
    What do you call the early mornings you kill,
    Creating mind maps on,
    How to get your body out of bed into shower,
    You know there's a river flowing next to you,
    And sometimes, on you to get back into your bed.
    What do you call the distress that rushes in,
    Hearing the buzzing of your phone, and your friend asking,
    "Why don't you have a ringtone?"
    And you don't answer both.
    Also, what do you call all that hate you have for yourself,
    That part of your heart, no man can grow a tree inside,
    And you warn them of the draught they're about to witness.
    It doesn't matter what you call,
    Names, doesn't call for healing.

    @writersnetwork @readwriteunite

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    What do you call it?


  • anjananair 96w

    I'll remember you as my tea cup.
    You see, i love tea,
    You hold my love
    You aren't my love
    And if you fall down, so will my tea
    Draw figures on your table.

  • anjananair 97w

    I'm walking this road to my unknown destiny, healing, trying to forget memories beautiful yet haunting; Trying to only see my destiny yet my vision is clouded; hoping that I will reach there and find peace within, hoping that the battle between my mind and memories end. I'm walking.. I'm walking, hoping that one day I will look back and simply smile.

  • anjananair 100w

    Throw me,
    Throw me in, push me in
    Not afraid to jump, water is a scary word.
    I stand there, toes between rocks
    Dread sweat feels the moss
    Body shaking, not because it's freezing
    The only light around, reflection of the moon, the stars faded tonight.
    And there you stand, by my side
    Crying aloud, you want me to stay
    You grace my hair, mutilated skin
    Hoping warmth of your touch, would defy my thoughts
    I still stand up, fretting legs against the rocks
    You hug me tight, pull me back.
    And we collapse to the floor, sit there
    Skin on skin, as I tell you,
    You should let me go
    As I tell you, how i am unworthy of love
    As I tell you, I can't exist
    As I tell you, humans are demons and life isn't for everyone
    You hug me tighter, watching the coldness spread through every inch of my veins
    I hold your hands again for a last time
    And say
    "Don't pull me out, if I try hard for a gasp of air
    Don't hold on to the tip of my long hair, as you see me cover in blue and more blue
    And when you cannot see anymore whirls of black in the water
    That's me, gone
    Gone for good"
    And there, before I make that leap,
    I feel a force on my back
    A tender, warm force
    The last human touch before I let,
    The hands of the water devour my body. My pain.

  • anjananair 102w

    I want you to know..

    If i cry, show me a tree
    If i shout, give me a flower
    If i am tired, put my blankets right
    If i am happy, look at the stars with me
    Lift me in the air every time i say life is boring
    Make me laugh so loud,
    That happiness can seem to last more than five minutes.
    If i drown, pull me up each time
    Cuz, i want to live.
    Live for you and me.

  • anjananair 103w


    Can that also be me?
    Can my mind go blank for a minute
    That i see how cold is my water?
    Can i go blank just once
    That i can think what i actually think.
    All i know blank, a white sheet
    Can i talk to the sheet and the sheet also be me?
    I am thoughts, never losing pace
    I am more thoughts, that rots in its every form
    Can thinking stop?
    Can all this stop?
    Can i just go blank?