I have felt the spirals of rotting anxiety. Metaphorised anxiety,sadness and what not Talked about it to every non living as livings failed me a long time back for the record.
Been tolled by my own flesh as I'm B I O M E for billions of microcreatures. Convinced I'm just a R O B O T serving for the little tactics of my minds yet I want to survive and thrive.
Weird ways to make myself A L I V E none worked, universe is so V A S T my palms sweat with thoughts of OBLIVION . I'm nothing ,though an outer of a B L A C K HOLE, consumed by everything alive inside of me
I don't wish to walk into RAINBOWS You had say we differ here, Y E S Cause I want to accept I'm the tinniest part Of this vastness. I will be F O R G O T T N . It doesn't matter if I'm alive or have any existence. I will do me.
The aforesaid are mere WANTS AND WILL As reality left me stranded the spiral is getting N A R R O W E D down, With better questions and no answers.
Sooooo I was just looking for some incident or a reason to write this and today this account did hit 500 follower, that's a milestone ,not a big one but enough to let me thank everyone. Considering I deleted my first account just before I was about to hit 500.
This post is to celebrate all the ppl I met on this platform.:D
Let's get this post started :
@shashagilbert_ : I wanted to leave you as well. I didn't want to let anyone be by my side. No human interaction is what I wanted. I didn't want you to know whatever I m dealing with. And I still don't. Not because i don't trust you or not consider you my friend,because you have an important exam coming up and I don't want to put my burden on you. I know you are selfish and all but still I don't want to. Nevertheless I'm glad that you stayed by me. This time I didn't hold you back and yet you stayed that's very unlikely of you. So thank you... P. S. : I didn't meet you here.:D
@_hessa_ : I have been reading you from a longgg time. The time you wrote about a top till today. I have read you. You are so so perfect. You write amazing. Your handwriting is dope. And painting *-* It's on another level. I never thought you will be the reason that I will stay. Though I came back but I wanted to leave asap. But now, knowing that somebody wants me to stay. I will. So thank you.
@_sad_ia_quad_ir_ : Gimme some brownie points first for remembering your username . You always write what you feel. You have this amazing talent of expressing yourself . Honestly I don't know you much but thank you for making me stay. And your welcome just made me so so overwhelmed. That now I want to stay a little longer.. So thank you..
tengoku : Frankly I just missed you. I was worried about ya when I should be clearing my own mess. I don't know when we bonded over saste nashes to friends. But I'm glad we did. So Thank you for not forgetting me while I wasn't here.
@eurus : Sakshi! This cannot be Complete without mentioning you. You were always there all this time. Always there when I needed to talk to someone . Pictures of kittens to always brighten up my day "-". I guess I have turned to cat person . Send moreeee! Hehe. Thank you my friend.
dandelions : Brotherrrr *-* Nothing much to say but your company is one of the best "-" Also keep spreading your wisdom.
sangfroid_soul : Thank you for checking up on me while I wasn't here. It was very very sweet of you. Needless to say, you are an amazing writer.
notyourtype : your optimism is gonna get me blinded some day NYT
sereiin , shaiz, paintyourlife , _still_in_mess ,purple_, lily_love ,raika, seyfert , Odysseus sir, solivagant7 am_him_forever (kansss) ,Amy, void, laus_deo ,diana ,zohii,croisaant , un_familiar,_krits_,love_whisperer, pranat writersbay(your prompts are some of the amazing ones)
And many more whom I might have forgotten to mention but that doesn't mean I'm any less thank full to anyone else.
P. S. : 1. I cannot tag more than 5 ppl so I'm gonna tag in comments. If I forget to tag someone just blame it on my memory.
2. I haven't mentioned those who have been there on instagram all this time bearing my rants and weird quotes. Again doesn't mean I'm any less thank full to them but I guess most of them are on haitus on mirakee.
3 special mention to tacenda .
4. I have taken up painting as a new hobby so here is a picture of one of my paintings :D
crop tops harm nobody.
~not my responsibility by queen billie eillish~
you have opinions
about my opinions
about my clothes
about my body
some people hate what I wear
some people praise it
some people use it to shame others
some people use it to shame me
but I feel you watching
and nothing I do goes unseen
so while I feel your stares
or your sigh of relief
if I lived by them
I’d never be able to move
would you like me to be smaller?
would you like me to be quiet?
do my shoulders provoke you?
does my chest?
am I my stomach?
the body I was born with
is it not what you wanted?
if I wear what is comfortable
I am not a woman
if I shed the layers
I’m a slut
though you’ve never seen my body
you still judge it
and judge me for it
we make assumptions about people
based on their size
we decide who they are
we decide what they’re worth
if I wear more
if I wear less
who decides what that makes me?
what that means?
is my value based only on your perception?
or is your opinion of me
not my responsibility
[thought that this fits perfectly (= ]
@_rainfrost_ thank you so much for this beautiful challenge, Potterhead. ♡
I'm standing on the shore, with my forehead burning with the light of eclipsing sun. And the tides which are emptying sand beneath my feet, are making me realise how everything affects everything. Time is relative, and so are feelings, eventually they slip away like an evanescing dream, leaving us wanting more.
A soft breeze catches me off guard and all my thoughts scatter, just like that. I wonder if the sky ever tried collecting back its stars but let go, for it realised there's more beauty in growing apart than to hold on to something and keep it from shining. I lay down on the caramel sand, this time without worrying about my favourite sundress or my messy hair. As the waves hit my feet rhythmically, I can't help but think about the song that I always skipped but couldn't ever delete. Our hearts hold onto things that are meant to be temporary; choking them, which in turn suffocate our dreams. Do we ever learn?
The sand that somehow ended up in my fists seemed to be struggling and the tighter my grip became, the more it slipped away, so I freed myself; from digging into my own skin. And believe me, the feeling was refreshing.
It was soothing to watch the clouds play hide and seek, while the wind and waves danced coyly to each other's symphony. Even the ether blushed a deep crimson at nature's alluring chicanery. Or was it just an innocent serendipity? Either way, the feeling was ethereal and the urge to capture the moment in my parched polaroid was overwhelming. I keep it in my scrapbook, intending to stick it later, and scribbled some words beside it;
"Waves of past embrace me like a rose; yet all I can feel are the rancorous thorns, maybe someday they'll fade away too and I'll find my abode."
We humans are bound by the chains of memories and feelings, and though the key is just within a hand's reach, we are too afraid to set ourselves free. Maybe it's stockholm syndrome that we have entangled ourselves in.
It's a beautiful sight and the more I look at the vast sky, the more depth I keep finding. I lay there for another minute; one that feels like an eternity, hoping to find a meaning of our existence, it's just in vain.
So I decide to let go of my worries and let the wind caress me, even if it's just for a moment. - Sakshi
@sangfroid_soul it's a cycle sang :) We all are temporary in someone else's life, and it goes on..
i've learned that people will leave me no matter what, alone in the pouring rain as nothing will ever last, and i was clueless to allow myself to believe in their white lies, over and over again like a carousel.
The dark veil of night stretches for aeons Layers of land underneath the thick blanket Nocturnal life breathes breaking every norms Humming, thudding and roaring from afar Listen to the wind swinging through the wild The pitch black canvas spots golden lights Fireflies gather around the dark deep forest A torchlight of hope for when the dawn breaks
The vast riverside valley and the hill way wide Fields of daffodils covers the whole land Sweet sunflowers welcome the morning sun Golden hues touches the yellow petals awake Blossoms smile around the Halo of the dawn Buttercups and daisies giggling in the breeze A red Sea of poppies and garden full of roses Butterflies sipping on the laughter of flowers
Warmth of nature kisses the cold blue sky Blue blushes turn soft grey clouds darker Wind whispers how thirsty the land gets often The heavens pour down the showers of love Rain touches the land, bathes the buds of hope From the lakeside willows begin the rainbow bridge It arches along the skyway and meets the end of valley Rain keeps pouring and nourishing as the rainbow smiles
Maybe she and me will meet one day when sunlight will struggle to peak in and fall on our faces. One night when moonlight will struggle not to reach us and make our tears glisten like pearls. One dusk when lilac clouds won't make us smile but reveal the answers we hid behind them some time back. One dawn when it won't be the warmth those butterflies carry on their wings but the coldness of our hearts will let us sleep in peace. Maybe she's sitting in front of me and trying to figure out how am I able to think so sad about something that haven't occurred yet. Maybe I'll give her answers soon. Before it's late to mug them up for days or months or years to come. Before it's late to flip the pages of a chapter furiously, that will be left incomplete as the previous ones. I wish we never meet. Never ever. ‘What do you have in your heart?' I asked her. I wish she'd have said ‘Nothing’ instead of saying it all. Ofcourse I know she was about to say nothing just before she looked at me and saw something similar like her. The curiosity to know her. All I want from them is that they should never ask her if she doesn't have a heart that beats for love. They just won't be able to take it that she has one and it's suffocating since years. Won't blame them. Even you won't feel so looking at her like me. What she said reminded me that I often end up hearing things I'm afraid to hear. She comes to me and wishes upon me with a sad smile. He comes to me and wishes upon me with his bright smile. I wish I was a writer who could write a love story based on two contradictory wishes. Sometimes when you make someone cry, a part of you smiles to know you are able to make them cry cause once you made them smile. There's always a part of you that wants something different than what the whole of you wants. It just stays inside you until one day it starts conquering you. Until you are forced to take it out. Their parts stay together but just never try to converse. One of them or for that matter both are supposed to get hurt once they do. There's a knock. It was supposed to be at the door but it is at her heart. She gets up still looking at me turns around and goes out where he's waiting for her. Before going she looked at me once as if asking for a permission. Today, tomorrow and for many more months, I'll curse myself for letting her go. I love how they ask each other for a hand to hold and then run with the flow of wind till one of them stops to breathe in the happiness lingering in the cool air. I love them for being them. I love to see what I love happy even if I know it might approach me in a different state. I know he's holding her now. A little tighter and she'll break. Once again. It's okay. I'm here for them. I'll always be.
/We are holders of happiness, too naive to know it's the melancholy that enhances our grip over it/
She runs towards the north in a hope she'll reach the last point of south thinking he's in the east while he stands looking at the setting sun smiling at her happy being.
PS: They don't know themselves, you just can't expect me to know them. ______ I do. Maybe I do with all my heart. We'll never know if this maybe is real. I'm here. I'll always try to be. I don't hate you.