And Loads of thanks to each and everyone who have supported me during my tough times and proved me what I am, what I am worth of.
Special Thanks to Yogita Ma'am, Geethalakshmi Ma'am, Shruti Didi, Smitha Ma'am,Tarnum Sheikh, Shweta Ma'am, Subhashree, Jay D Marvin Anna, Sneha Akka, Danny Sir, Vishal Bhaiya, Ashmita Dutta, Preksha, Kalyani, Zara, Aayu Arya(the_rocking_ray), Aryasmita Dhir, Sujata Ma'am, Sonu Akka(mad_foodie), Sandhiya Bhavi Akka, Sumana Chakroborty Ma'am, Amrita Ma'am, Juvena D'Souza, Japs Jk Ma'am to one and all who have raised their emotional support for me❤️❤️❤️ I will try my best to give a payback to your support ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you is a very small word for you people, because of you people I didn't feel lonely ❤️❤️❤️ thank you so so so very much
Mom, After you have gone, My wiring system has been completely changed.
I loved to talk but I wasn't talkative, But I have become talkative.
I was Introvert, talked as much required, But don't know why I have been talkative, Is it that I am lonely.
I love to be what I am, but still I hate myself, Because I don't have so called good looks, So called good standard of studying, So called average student.
After you left I have lost a huge part of me myself, Consuming anti depressants of 585 mg daily like peanuts. Gained a huge amount of weight, Food habit changed, Every stage I make mistakes, If I do good then also I get hurled with abuses and comments. Earlier I never used to apologise much, But now my every step seems to be a mistake, Earlier I never used to hold my mistakes or wrong deeds of past, Now everytime I genuinely say sorry, Try to solve the problem or fight that moment that place and finish off the things, I get to listen that I am very sticky or chipkoo.
Earlier If I request someone to see something, People happily see, and like that day I am least bothered of criticism.
But if I request someone, I have to request persistently that too whole heartedly and ask them for a small support as I believe them as a close friend, And people name it that I force them I am a beggar, begging for support this that.
Mom I just want to say one thing, If you would have been alive I won't have been so Dissappointed, so disheartened and so lonely.
I am feeling so hurt that the tears are coming out while typing this and I am feeling furious upon myself that how lame I have been,how poor I have been, how people hate me so badly as if I am a bad dream in their life.
Mom I just have a request, Either come to this universe and hug me or you bless me with immense power you can and make me mature so that no one will say he is doing idiotic drama, he is mad he is immatured than me.
Mom if possible please come and hug me, give me all your power, I want to be that old boy who loved to talk but was a bit Introvert, less outspoken, but friendly, less feel of guilt.
The amount of love I have for myself is almost the se amount of hate I have for myself, I hate myself too.
I Love You Mom, I Hate You Mom.
I Love You Barry, I Hate You Barry, I Am Pretty Much Concerned Barry, How Will You Change, Hate You Barry.
Miss you so badly mom, I can't control my tears and anger on you and on me also.